donating blood - 101

Ok class, listen up. I know most of you are not ready to take the leap and donate your kidney, so I thought we might take a little baby step together and allow me to show you (got lots of pics) just how easy it is to donate your blood. I've been a committed blood donor now for about 4 years and it's easy-peezy. I too am terrified of needles, so I'm not going to listen to the excuses from everyone about how scared they are of the long prong (ooh, does that sound right?) Yes, it's creepy and pointy and sharp and cold, but so was my 10th grade Spanish teacher and I recovered from that trauma. 

Go to the American Red Cross website and locate your local blood donation center and schedule an appointment. All you need is one hour of time to draw the blood and all the other clinical mandatory crap they ask you to complete. They will ask you to confirm your name about 10 times and honestly, if you can tolerate that, you can tolerate the needle.

So, let's get started, shall we?

First step is getting through this manual. 

They will ask you to take one of these books and read through it. 

It's riveting.

It's filled with bunch of legal-schmeegal stuff.

They will call your name and escort you into a very small room filled with snakes. Kidding. The room is really tiny though and it makes me nervous. Don't know why, just does. Anyhow, they begin the 'name game' at this point and within 2 minutes, they've already asked you your name 3 times. Before they can move on to the next step, they have to prick your finger and take a small blood sample to see if your iron count is high enough for them to let you donate. Tonight was my third visit within the last 3 weeks to donate because the last two times I attempted, my iron was too low. Apparently runners are often rejected (story of my life) because the running bounces around your blood cells and affects your iron count. Sounds like a bunch of hooey to me. I ate about 10 lbs. of spinach this past week and evidently the stuff really does boost your iron count. I was good to go!

Finger is pricked with a very small needle and your iron is tested.

If you pass the iron test, they give you a badge. No they don't but I think after what I have been through these past few weeks, I deserve one. They set you up in front of laptop, they exit out the Alice in Wonderland door from the tiny room, and you have to complete the questionnaire provided. They ask you all these crazy questions about illnesses, surgeries, diseases, prison sex, body piercings, etc. This takes only about 4 minutes or so, unless you need more time to think about the prison sex one. 

Let's all be honest now...

Now you're ready for the big-people room and you park your rump in this nice pleather La-Z-Boy and the foot massage begins. 

I have one just like this at home.

The phlebotomist then gathers her tools and preps for the blood draw. She then asks you your name, again. And again, and again.

Tubes and bags and electronic devices and paperwork...
I really don't know what all this stuff is but it looks important, doesn't it?

They wrap a giant rubberband around your arm and give you a squish ball to squeeze. Your veins pop out like worms and she marks the juiciest one she can find.

Vein is marked, and do I have nice ones! Or so I'm told.

After it's marked, they rub this really dark tanning lotion all over it. Guess it not only sanitizes the area, but gives you that savage tan you want.

She cleans your needle-poking spot, for what seems to be forever.

GRAPHIC PHOTO WARNING:  She inserts the needle, I let out this chirpy, squeelie sound like a little baby and within 30 seconds, the creepiness is over.

I look like I have Popeye arms here. Must have been all that spinach.

At the end of the draw, vials are collected in addition to the pints, for testing.

The needle is removed and they bandage you up. All done!

I have oompa loompa arm now.

Blood all packed up neatly and ready to be sent off to my favorite vampire, Count Chocula.

Happy blood.

Total blood draw time was 13 minutes. This figure will vary, depending on how quickly or slowly, your blood flows. This is why they give you a squish ball to squeeze on and off while your'e donating, it gets the blood flowing faster.

The bonus to every blood donation is of course the buffet that is served immediately after. Looks nutritional too, eh?

Dinner.

Now see, that wasn't so bad now was it? My total time invested was 45 minutes from the time I walked in the door until I exited the building. I remember I was terrified my first time, the needle is so intimidating but honestly, you don't really feel it after the first 30 seconds. It's all well worth it and I would encourage all of my readers to please consider taking an hour of your day to save a life.

A few facts from the American Red Cross about why your donation is so important...

• Nearly every 2 seconds of every day, someone needs blood.
• If everyone donated blood just one more time each year, there would be no shortages.
• Your one donation can help save the lives of as many as three hospital patients.
• Only 5% of people who are eligible actually donate blood.

Until next time... if you schedule an appointment during the month of April (and we only have several days left), they give you a nice, red t-shirt!

6 months flying solo

Happy Anniversary to me!

Today marks 6 months to the day of my surgery, and what feels like the longest winter on record. Go away, snow. On September 22, 2010, I made the best decision of my life and donated my kidney to what was at that time, a complete stranger. She is no longer a stranger, but someone that will forever be a part of my life, forever be someone that changed my life.

I didn't know who would receive my kidney. I didn't know their gender, age, religious affiliation, lifestyle, marital status, career, where they lived, or the specifics of their medical condition that had brought them to a life on dialysis. What I did know is that there was someone out there that desperately needed a kidney that would provide them the quality of life they so much deserved. My kidney could have gone to virtually anyone, and I knew when I started this journey that I wanted to let this decision be in God's hands. There was no way I could possibly hand-pick a recipient from this unfortunately large pool of candidates. Can you imagine... eenie, meenie, miney, moe...?  I was confident and very comfortable knowing that my recipient would be selected by the only one, in my opinion, capable of making that difficult decision. I thank God that he has brought Julia to me in this very non-conventional way, and given me a purpose in my life.

I've learned so much about myself these past 6 months, and I am grateful for this growth. My physical recovery from the surgery is long over, and with the exception of a minor struggle with fatigue, I feel fantastic. My health over the winter has been superb - not even a cold! My fitness goals and accomplishments are greater and more challenging than before the surgery, and my heart and soul have found a sense of peace and immeasurable fulfillment. My active involvement in the living kidney donor community is now a priority in my life (move over Jeter) and I take great pride and pleasure in being a part of this. Never did I dream that my passion for donor awareness would continue after the transplant surgery was over. Not only has it maintained it's presence in my life, I have found that it has become a new direction for me to explore much further. My desire to gain knowledge and deeper understanding of the challenges of donor/recipient matches and paired exchanges continues to intrigue me and I have become somewhat of a 'kidney news' junkie.

In these six months, not a day has gone by that I have not thought about my recipient, Julia. I think about her health and her well-being, and pray that she continues to feel great (because I don't have room for it now if she wants to give it back). Our correspondence is minimal but I did recently receive a text message from her, and my heart was filled with joy when I saw my phone light up her name. She wanted to share some wonderful news with me...her nephrologist has given her the thumbs-up to have another child. If she has a girl I think 'Angela' has a nice ring to it. Naturally, she expressed immense gratitude to me for making this happen and shared some comments to me regarding the option of endless possibilities in her life that she now has, and didn't before. I am so happy for her and her opportunities to live such a rewarding life now. When I'm having an off moment, or I'm feeling a little blue, I think of her and my day seems so much brighter.

Other donors that I have formed relationships with say that the memory of the donation fades over time. Maybe so for them, but I'm pretty sure that this is one Kodak moment that I will never forget.

Until next time... I encourage anyone that has even the slightest interest in exploring the option of becoming a living kidney donor to contact me, or use the resources I've included on my blog list. Educate yourself on the possibility of giving the gift of life.

my body, my mind... take it all

my body, my mind... take it all
I received some great news on Friday... Somebody actually wants me for my mind instead of my body. Shocking, I know.

Georgetown University researchers in the Laboratory of Social and Affective Neuroscience are seeking adults that have volunteered to donate a kidney, and I am the chosen one (of many).  I have no idea what those smartie-pants people do, but I do know that I volunteered to donate a kidney, so sign me up. I love to have my brain picked. It was such a memorable experience to have my internal goodies poked at, I can only imagine how exciting it will be to have them study my gray matter. Boy, are they in for a disappointment surprise.

I've been told that my participation may involve behavioral observation, brain imaging (MRI scans), and psychological interviews. As long as they're not observing me on a Saturday night in mid-August at a bar in Saratoga, I think they will be satisfied with their subject. Or bored out of their minds.

Anyhow, I'm excited. Very excited. I participated in the initial online testing about 3 weeks ago. They warned the participants that the test would take about 90 minutes and fortunately I was allowed to stop periodically so I could pick it up again if I was interrupted. Thank goodness because you know how Derek is such an attention whore and can't possibly be without my presence for more than 15 minutes... ugh, so needy. The test was divided into several sections, covering everything from image perception to ethics. I love this stuff. I find human behavior to be so intriguing, and am fascinated at the statistics that doctors and scientists are able to collect just by asking questions.

I passed the online test and qualified for more. So much so, that they need me to travel to D.C. to spend a weekend with them. Apparently I have fans all over. They're footin' the bill, so away I will go. The dates have not yet been confirmed, but I'm looking forward to this and I feel good knowing that in some small way, I'm helping the living kidney donor community.

Since my surgery, I have tried my best to keep current with all the news and information in the living donor community. I have set up feeds on my email to alert me with stories, news and medical breakthroughs that continue to grow. This is good thing. It's also a bad thing, at times. Sometimes I think  I read too much. I see tragic stories daily, of patients living with kidney disease that can't find a donor, or the transplant was not successful and their donated kidney was rejected. This is why I didn't hesitate to participate in this study. My presence in the donor community did not end the day I gave my kidney to my recipient, if anything, I feel as though it's stronger. Because I want it to be.

I have also been invited to attend a conference May 2-3,1011, with the National Kidney Registry. Details are still not solid yet, but I know that this opportunity is not to be missed. I will continue to embrace any chance I have to better myself as a mentor for other living donors. As I've mentioned in past posts, this is a huge part of my life and I'm lucky to be there for others that are beginning their journey. With time, patience and education, I know I can provide the proper support to other donors - much like the support that was given to me.

Until next time... this thing called snow - I'm done with it.

reactions

It's closely approaching the 5 month mark from my date of surgery. Seems like so long ago really, but oddly enough, I think of it every day. It's all good, even the not-so-comfortable memories of the pain, fatigue and a wacky digestive system that took weeks to regulate itself once again. Thanks for the prunes, Mom! The surgery was a priority in my life for many months leading up to the day, and now that the months have passed since then, donating my kidney is still a priority in my life. Sounds weird, I know, but, this experience is a very big part of who I am and nobody can rob me of that. That's what makes it special. It's between me and one other person... my recipient. It's similar to someone that has a career that consumes so much of their life, or a child that reminds you daily of your purpose in life. It's part of who you are, at least that's how I feel. I don't know, maybe it's because I don't have a child (although I was married to one), a spouse, or a career that my life revolves around.

Since this is such a special part of who I am, I feel like it's a bullet item on my 'resume of life'. Ya know, you have your list of achievements, heartaches, challenges and tragedies and somewhere, this fits in. It does in my resume, but I have a problem because I'm finding it difficult to share this with many people that are not already aware of it. I hesitate to bring it up and I'll tell you why. People do not know how to react to this.

I remember being out at a restaurant about 2 weeks prior to my surgery. I was alone and dined at the bar. I had great conversation that evening with a man sitting next to me. Ironically, he happened to bring up the topic of organ donation. So, I went with it. I told him that in 2 weeks, I was going to be donating my kidney. What was up until that point a very stimulating and interesting conversation between two people suddenly turned into a very uncomfortable and awkward moment for me. He freaked out. Really. I had barely gotten the words out of my mouth and the guy did a 360 on me and told me that we couldn't talk about it because it 'grossed him out'. Those were his exact words.

"You're doing what with your kidney?" Oh, the horror!!

So, I poured my drink on his lap and made a quick exit. Kidding. That's what I wanted to do. What I really wanted to do was ask him, "Why?" I mean, I'm not going to bring up a topic like cock-fighting with a complete stranger if I know I'm going to be turned off by the elements in the conversation. It was an unexpected and uncomfortable moment for me, but it was also just one of many that would come in the future.

Of course most people that I meet through friends and family who become aware of my experience, are curious and typically very gracious with their kind words. This is all nice and I enjoy chatting with them and answering their questions about "Why did you do this?" and "Weren't you afraid?", etc. But there are also those that just give you this blank stare. You can just read what they're thinking by the freaky expression on their face. I've had some that don't even blink an eye and quickly change the topic to something so banal and generic that it screams of "Oh my God I don't know what to say so I'm not going to say anything at all." Ok, fine. Seriously, it's ok, but as someone that has lived through such a wonderful and fulfilling experience, it's a slap in the face to ignore it. I move on and I truly won't hold it personally against them, but it does make me wonder... What are they fearing in this?

So, my brilliant mind is telling me that what they are fearing is what they don't know. I don't want to sound all Dr. Phil here, but c'mon, wouldn't you all agree? Back me up on this one, will ya? It's very difficult for some (I've been told by dear Mom) to understand why someone would want to electively do what I did. Hey, I get it, I do. Maybe it's just my ever-inquisitive mind, but, if someone told me something that I knew nothing about, I would go out of my way to get as much information from them as I could. Isn't that how we learn and grow? I realize that we're not talking about something as common as car repair, but it's got to be even moderately interesting to know something about organ donation, right? You don't think I'm sounding biased, do you?

Sure, maybe I'm a teensy-weensy biased, but this is precisely how I made the decision to become a donor. I was having a conversation with a co-worker. He brings it up and I ask away. I was so damn curious that I went straight home after work that evening and spent hours researching it online. How are we as living donors expected to raise awareness and spread the word about living kidney donation if we can't find willing listeners? I always said that I would listen to anyone discuss anything as long as they were educated and passionate about their topic. You're not going to find someone more passionate about it, and I'm continually educating myself daily so that I can fill in the blanks to curious listeners.

I would be interested to know, from other donors reading this, what kinds of reactions they have received when the topic is brought up with strangers. Maybe it's just me? I would also like to know how other donors go about bringing this up in conversation. I can assure you that it's not something I feel is appropriate for every situation, but once you get involved in conversation with someone, do you sometimes feel it's something better left unsaid? Blogging about my journey has been my outlet, for the most part. I could never imagine trying to share all the information I've shared here with people I meet on a daily basis. I guess I just want to be able to continue to comfortably do so, but face to face. I'm living proof that people don't have to feat this opportunity. As I've mentioned here in the past, I know that this is not something for everyone, but please embrace the opportunity to learn more about it. Donating the gift of life to a stranger should never be a topic that is dismissed by others. It's my pleasure to try my hardest to make it a topic that we can all embrace.

Until next time... I miss my strappy heels and my summer dresses... bring on summer!

hello, julia... how's my kidney?

After pondering for several days and memorizing my internal script, I decided to call my recipient on Christmas Eve 2010. I felt this would be the best time to reach out to her. Three months had passed, we were both most likely feeling pretty good, and it was Christmas and I get a little melancholy at that time of the year. She included a phone number in her 'reach-out' letter to me after her transplant, and my mentor (Cara), suggested that she wouldn't have included it if she wouldn't welcome a call from me. I thought everything through, including the exact time of day that I felt would be the most convenient for her to receive a call from her donor. The last thing I wanted was for her to be in the middle of wrapping gifts, boozin' it up with eggnogg, entertaining friends and family, or at a church service. I wanted it to be just right. I wanted my palms to stop sweating and my voice to stop shaking.

Julia's beautiful letter written to me. I just had to frame it.

Making that exciting phone call after a first date never came close to the anxiety I felt before dialing. I had gone over, again and again, what I was going to say. I coached myself to not talk too long, not too short, don't be shy but don't be too animated, don't drop the "f-bomb", etc. Was it appropriate to ask her about her medical condition that led her to the transplant list? Was it ok for me to ask for visitation rights? Was it too intrusive to inquire about her family, lifestyle, recovery, etc. So, I said, "Hello, Julia... how's my kidney?" Nothing like puttin' myself out there, eh? I mean, what could she say, "Who is this?" Who else would it be?

We've all had those moments in life where we finally get to speak to someone that we have seen in photos and anticipated how they might sound, and how we can feel their personality come through the phone. I was dead on, when I heard her voice - kind, articulate, very feminine, compassionate, grateful and enthusiastic. And I'm sure she thought I sounded like a truck stop waitress that inhaled 2 packs of Kools a day. I was pleasantly surprised as to how comfortable our conversation flowed. I had a list of questions, but knew that I would edit them as the conversation progressed. It was like we were old friends making that 'catch up' phone call on the holiday after not speaking for a year. We gabbed like I used to gab when I was 18, spending hours on the phone with my BFF. My heart was filled with so much love when I talked to her. There are very few people in my life that I feel really do listen when I speak and I could tell that she listened with her heart. Aw, a warm and fuzzy moment.

I did ask her, with her permission, to share with me her medical condition that would eventually lead me to be a part of her life. When Julia got married, she and her husband decided to have a child immediately. During her ultrasound, the doctor found that she only had one kidney. It's rare, but it does happen, to about 1 in 750 people. As the months passed, she began to get sick, and her kidney was failing. They had to induce labor very early in her pregnancy, at about 6 months. The baby was fine, but Julia was not. She went into a coma and suffered a stroke. She recovered but the condition of her kidney worsened, and was not going to get any better. The doctors told her that when her kidney was diminished to functioning at only 13%, she could be put on the transplant list. She was able to run dialysis in the evenings, which allowed her to continue to work, but her lifestyle suffered physical limitations.

Ding, ding, ding.... enter, me! :-)  So then I yank my kidney out, toss it in a cooler and ship it to her FedEx so she can borrow it for a while. Julia's doctor gave her permission to go back to work on January 10th. She said she feels fantastic, and that my kidney is doing a fine job. Phew. The thought did cross my mind before I called her that my kidney may not be fairing as well as she and I anticipated. Then what do I do? Send her a Starbucks gift card and a letter of apology?

I'm not exactly one to get too excited about Christmas, but I can honestly say that this phone call was the best gift anyone could have given me. I can't think of a better recipient that I have been blessed with to receive my kidney. I know that there are altruistic donors out there that never have contact with their recipients, and I understand that sometimes it's the wish of the donor and sometimes the wish of the recipient. Not knowing my recipient after the surgery never would have altered my decision to become a non-directed donor, but I feel so lucky to have such a special connection now to someone that will forever be a part of my life.

Until next time... I'm counting the days til Spring!!