I came home today to find that orange and purple FedEx package on my porch and got all excited. Ooohhh, who's sending me something good? It was wrapped in a soft bubbly envelope and I could tell by it's form that there were several small boxes inside. I looked at the return address label and noticed it was sent from the UCLA Health Systems. I knew it couldn't be another blood kit, cuz I'm pretty sure we're all done with that for a while.
The transplant coordinator from UCLA had sent me a goodie bag, or should I say goodie box(es). "How nice", I thought as I opened the envelope and saw several small boxes inside. Slowly I opened them, one by one and my God, what an array of showcase prizes, folks! Bet ya didn't know that when you donate a kidney, the hospital sends you: a ballpoint pen, a notepad, a keychain with an "EVERYDAY HERO" charm, a packet of mints (I think) and a stainless steel thermos. That's right kids, it can all be yours, for just one small kidney donation.
|My showcase of prizes... and a bill.|
And you all thought that I was going to walk away from this without any type of gratuitous gift. Shame on you.
After letting my pulse rate drop, I decided to move on to the real good stuff... the mail. I notice an envelope from Weill-Cornell Hospital and decide that since my level of excitement can't quite get any highter at this point, I'll open this one next. Not again? Another nice gift, this time from NYC (I'm getting hit from both the west coast and the east coast - lucky girl). Folded neatly inside was my invoice, for my organ that they ripped out of me. How nice. I haven't seen a bill with that many figures on it since I got my bar tab in Vegas. Who wants to take a guess at what my beautiful organ is worth? C'mon, don't embarrass me, after all, the doc said I had beautiful insides.
$12,751.00 I gotta know what that $1 is for.
I don't mind tellin' ya, I'm disappointed. I was kinda shootin' for something around $24K. I mean, hypothetically, should I have decided to sell the kidney, like on eBay or something, I'm sure I could have raked in at least $20K, right? Well, it is what it is and I've decided that I'm going to send that invoice back to Weill-Cornell and ask them to give me credit. I could use a little lipo.
Until next time... GO YANKEES!!!!