Ok Solo

give love, give life

2012-02-14T05:30:00.006-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day

jogging to julia

2012-02-05T16:23:00.007-05:00

I'm well rested. I should be, since it's now winter and I think the last time I posted a personal update, there were still leaves on the trees. I say I'm rested because I've been tired, for about 4 months now. Exhausted is more like it. Life is good, but I've been frustrated with a few areas of my life and my brain hurts from thinking too much. I have this ability to endure physical exhaustion much more than the emotional kind. I can work nonstop on my feet for days without a break, but ask me to find a solution to a life problem, and I cave until I can get another 9 hours of sleep. Let's just say that I'm in transition now. I have made some decisions that I feel are going to be positive and challenging. Gotta have that challenge, right? Challenge is knowledge and knowledge is growth. So, stay tuned for updates.

If you've been following my journey through 2011, you all know that I made a decision to run a half marathon before the end of the year. On October 30, 2011, I finished the Los Angeles Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon in 2:20:51.

Sweaty, and stinky I'm sure, minutes after crossing the finish line.

My hand-crafted race day shirt, worn proudly.

The race was awesome! I had such a great time. I can still recall so many moments on the course. Probably one of the most rewarding and memorable experiences in my life. Right up there with the county fair. I'm not gonna lie to you, it was difficult and there were moments after mile 11 that I was asking myself why in the hell I chose this challenge instead of a hot dog eating one. But, I powered through and got my second-wind once I caught a glimpse of the finish line and the beer truck.

As I pounded the pavement that day, thoughts of meeting Julia, my recipient, filtered in and out of my head. Excited, anxious, curious and a teeny-tiny bit nervous. I can't say I had any expectations. It's a waste of time, as far as I'm concerned. Like anticipating when Derek will pop the question. I have no doubt he will, I just need to be patient and wait until he can rack in another $20 mil before we settle down.

I was staying in L.A. and she lives approximately 2.5 hours away. We mutually decided to meet at a Chili's restaurant and have a late lunch, so her daughter could join us after school. So, on Halloween morning, I schlepped a gallon of Starbucks coffee and my GPS all the way to Bakersfield, CA.

Me and my big hair arrived early (I'm OCD), and impatiently waited for her to arrive. My hands started sweating and I suddenly started feeling that ickiness in my tummy that would hit me every time I had a blind date. What if she doesn't show? What if she backs out at the last minute because she is having second thoughts?

Ten minutes later (how dare she be late) she walked in with her adorable daughter. We hugged and promptly took a seat in a booth in a hard-to-find, quiet corner. I perused the menu for something that wouldn't give me gas, or add an extra 5 lbs. to my delicate and fragile frame. What I really wanted was a margarita. That would have been a nice Kodak moment to capture, right? Me, my margarita and my California kidney. Conversation was very generic and initially focused on what else, Halloween. We chatted about her daughter and her school, the community and naturally - the weather. I decided that I was not going to lead the conversation, but instead take a step back and let her ask the questions. After all, just having this opportunity to be face-to-face with the woman that now has my kidney inside of her was more than I could ever ask for. Firing questions at her regarding her personal life was in my opinion, none of my business.

She shared much more with me about her journey, her illness, her time on the list, her dialysis treatments and her frustrations of waiting for a donor. She asked few questions, but one of which I didn't expect.

"What made you decide to donate?"

And so, I shared my story, which really isn't too much of a story. "Because I can. Because I wanted to provide someone in need, with just a little nugget of the good health that I was fortunate enough to have every day I wake up. It really wasn't a big deal, Julia."

She looked at me, and paused as tears fell down her cheeks, "It is a big deal, Angela. It's a very big deal. It's a big deal to me, my family and my daughter. You have completely changed my life."

And as she said that, it was then that I realized what I had done. This woman sitting across from me in a Chili's restaurant, in Bakersfield, CA is living with my kidney. Very surreal.

We spent 2.5 hours together, sharing stories of our families, our challenges and our goals. It was getting late, and time for her daughter to begin her trick-or-treating, so we decided to part. As we got up from the table I happened to look down at the floor and noticed a dragonfly tattoo on her foot. I asked her about it, and she told me that she loves dragonflies and collects anything with a dragonfly on it. I immediately thought of my blog, and the illustration featured on my page that I created in the summer of 2010.

Everything happens for a reason.

Julia and I, October 31, 2011 - Bakersfield, CA

the search and the gift

2011-12-11T07:58:00.007-05:00

John Tait, a student at Columbia College Chicago, has completed this video on the recipient/donor experience. I don't know much about John, but I wanted to share this with my readers, as I thought he did a great job conveying the emotions of both parties through their journeys.

Great job, John.
Enjoy...
The Search and the Gift

survey: donor follow-up care

2011-11-28T09:05:00.001-05:00

Hello, fellow donors!

We invite you to take a moment to participate in this survey. It was created out of a very real need for accurate data on the follow-up contact and care that does (and often does not) happen post-donation. The living kidney donor community has learned that UNOS (United Network for Organ Sharing) is trying to pass protocol (#9), that would make it mandatory for transplant centers to follow-up with their donors. However, once pressed for records of follow-up attempts, many centers have responded with the claim that donors do not wish to be contacted after their surgery for follow-up questioning and care.

In an effort to present sound proof and representative data to the transplant community to back up our sentiments that donors do typically want some form of follow-up, we decided to reach out to the donor community via this questionnaire. Your participation gives voice to this very important cause, and we thank you for speaking up on behalf of those donors who cannot do so themselves.

On behalf of the living kidney donor community at large, thank you for agreeing to take part in the survey.

To participate, please click on this link: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/follow-up_care

Thank you!

giving thanks

2011-11-24T06:49:00.003-05:00

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. What more fun could anyone possibly ask for in one day? Plenty of adult beverages, food, family and football. I loooooove Thanksgiving.

Naturally, there are endless things I'm thankful for... like water, shelter, employment, friends and family. But, there are many other elements of my day-to-day life that I just couldn't live without, and I'm going to name just a few...

HAIR PRODUCTS
Because without them, I could easily be mistaken for him.

COFFEE
Because without this, I feel like her.

PILLOW
I can't believe that I spent $44 on a piece of foam. Until 2 weeks ago, I had been using a stack of maxi-pads. I feel like I've died and gone to heaven.

SIRIUS RADIO
I rarely treat myself to luxury, but when I purchased my car 5 years ago, I also bought a lifetime subscription to Sirius. Makes my 30-minute commute to ~~hell~~ work, not so painful and now I have a lifetime of jazz that follows me wherever I go.

HEATED SEATS
The butt burners in my vehicle make it the only place I'm guaranteed to be warm.

RUNNING SNEAKERS
Provides me balance in my life. Never dreamed they could mean so much to me.

MOM
My hero.

CAT
She's been with me for 3 years now, and still has no name. I don't know what I'd do without her.

HEALTH
I've been blessed, and not a day goes by that I don't thank God for giving me the ability to move my body every day.

REALITY TV
Because as long as this mindless crap exists, I'll never forget just how real my life really is.

MEN
I'll be boy-crazy until the day I die. Love me some men!

That's it. For now.
Wishing all my readers a day of love, food, laughter and tummy aches.

Until next time... Enjoy the holiday season. It's here!

free beer and hot wings... thank you

2011-11-19T15:55:00.004-05:00

I'm not talking about the feast of hops and fat. I'm talking about the men I wake up with every weekday morning - my radio guys, the Free Beer and Hot Wings morning show.

This syndicated, morning talk show has been my daily happy pill since Howard Stern left our local radio station for satellite. I remember tuning in that first morning they took over, and as soon as I heard the name I was turned off. I'm glad I gave them a chance, because after enduring their stupidity for about two weeks, they really grew on me. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I feel like these guys are a part of my family. I've been with them through their ups and downs, the births of their children, their personal accomplishments off the air, etc... and they've been with me through mine. Right.

They stop in Albany for live remotes about once a year and you can guarantee that regardless of what watering hole they show up in, I'm there. I've met them countless times and they are always kind, considerate and willing to take the time to chat with all their fans. I. Love. Them.

And I'm sure they love me. Like me? Maybe. I tune them in as soon as I hit my car in the a.m. for my dreaded trip to ~~hell~~ the office. I wait in the parking lot until the commercial break, then run into the office, pop open the laptop and continue to stream them until the show ends at 10am. Then I pout.

I'm particularly attracted to their show because of the wide range of current events they cover. They are all bright and humorous men, but their commentary is always fair, honest and very real. They have this ability to speak their minds without creating a partisan fog attached to their brand. I don't always agree with their social and political views, but they have a brilliant way of speaking their minds without pissing off the natives. Stay with me because I do have a point here. I'm just being selfish because these guys mean so much to me, I feel the need to brag about them.

Eric Zane, of (FBHW) and I
Summer 2010, Ravenswood Pub

This Wednesday morning, they updated the audience on the story of Marine Cpl. Kelsey De Santis' date with Justin Timberlake. I won't bore you with the details, but the premise of the story led them to the topic of emotional blackmail, and how these type of requests from us 'little' people to celebrities could easily get out of hand, and where do you draw the line? Agreed.

It was then that the guys read an email from a listener whose mother was in need of a kidney transplant. This woman asked Eric Zane if she would go on a date with her mother, to raise awareness of her mother's need for a kidney. And he jumped all over that and said, "Of course... not." In a few short minutes, the conversation quickly transitioned into kidney donation, and that's when I got a little bit excited.

I have their call-in number on my phone, for that one time in my life that I think I'm actually going to have the balls to call in and spew my opinion to the national audience about flatulence, pornography, animal abuse, or any number of the intelligent topics they cover. I took a deep breath, hit the call button and prayed they wouldn't pick up. They picked up, and then I peed my pants.

Within 15 seconds I was on the air. Honestly, I don't even remember too much of what I said, and I'm thankful that I will never have the opportunity to hear myself. I do remember expressing my thoughts on being a living kidney donor and sharing with them the opportunity that I was blessed with and how easy this is for the healthy segment of this population to consider being a part of. I explained that I was a non-directed donor, that I recently met my recipient (btw, that blog post is around the corner), and how terrific and healthy I still feel.

Producer Joe, Free Beer, Eric Zane, Hot Wings and Steve

And so, within a minute I was on and off the radio. This made my day. For two reasons: I got to talk to my radio guys, and, they let me share my story and bring this very important issue to the airways. You can't imagine how much this meant to me. Best part of all is that they were nice to me. I expected them to deliver sarcasm at their best. Nope. See, they do like me.

The conversation continued for a short bit, and they took several more calls on this. I was so happy that this was being discussed on national radio. But, I was even happier to see the positive feedback offered by their listening audience. They were as surprised as I was, getting a slew of emails from listeners expressing genuine interest in being a candidate to donate their kidney to Kelley's mom. Success!

Much to my surprise, Thursday brought even more interest in the topic, and again, my guys delivered. More listeners called in to express interest in the show then added Kelley's blog link to their site, for those that were requesting more information on the recipient's story. I quickly shot an email to the show and added that they need to explain to the listeners the seriousness of this process and that's it not to be taken lightly. Free Beer read my email on the show and pointed the listeners to the National Kidney Registry, should they want to learn more about how to become a donor. Once again, I peed my pants. Success, part deux!

I think I'm still riding on the high of this experience. Never in a million years did I imagine that two of my favorite things in the world would come together as one. I have since emailed Kelley, and shared with her my own personal journey, and promised her I would contact her again soon to give her some contacts. Kelley's story is just one of 80,000+ right now.

What I found to be surprising about this conversation on the air, was the overwhelming and sincere response of listeners that were actually interested in pursuing this. I still think that if we could have more opportunities to spread the word and bring awareness of living kidney donation, the misconceptions of surgery could be dramatically reduced. I'm also convinced that the media outlet to share this information needs to be re-thought. Why do we need to limit our conversation and exposure to health fairs and expos only? Why can't our voices be heard more on the radio and TV? The general public needs to be informed more often, from us donors. We've been on this journey to save a life. We continue our adventure, with only one kidney, as living proof that it can be done.

Until next time... please tune in to hear my radio guys. I guarantee you will be insulted, shocked, humored and even impressed.

deepak and the kidney

2011-11-13T19:42:00.003-05:00

I'm a huge fan of Huffington Post, specifically, their Healthy Living features. I stumbled on a great piece written by Deepak Chopra, on kidneys. I found this blog post to be extremely educational, simple and easy to comprehend. I know I learned something when I read it, and I hope you do, too.

Deepak Chopra

For those of you not familiar with Deepak Chopra, I encourage you to do some research on his teachings and philosophy. He's a great speaker and if you ever get a chance to attend one of his lectures, jump all over that. Plus, he's a hottie. Intelligence is sexy!

I hope you enjoy his post, and please leave a comment if you have other articles you feel might be beneficial to my readers.

Happy, healthy kidneys!

boo!

2011-10-31T01:28:00.000-04:00

inspiration - pt. 2

2011-10-16T14:40:00.002-04:00

Catch up with 'inspiration - pt. 1', here.

My other inspiration to reach my goal, and reach it in Californ-I-A, is my recipient. I chose this particular race in L.A., for an opportunity to visit my kidney. My right kidney is feeling lonely and needs a hug, so, I decided to reach out to my recipient and ask her if she would be open to meeting me. I got an enthusiastic text message reply from her... "Yes, yes, yes!"

Visiting California, participating in my first half marathon and giving myself a much overdue vacation were all part of my plan. As joyful and exciting as it would be to meet my recipient for the first time, I didn't want that possibility to interfere with my goal. It had crossed my mind that Julia would not be receptive to me throwing myself at her (now who could deny me?) and cashing in on my visitation right. I didn't want to plan my trip to L.A. contingent upon her acceptance or rejection of my request to meet her. So, I waited 2 days after I registered to reach out to her, and I'm glad I did. For the last 3 months my focus has been on my training, not on meeting her. It's not healthy for me emotionally, to have expectations in my life that I have no control over.

There's still a chance that Julia will not want to, or be able, to meet me. Many donors never get this opportunity. Some simply don't want to know or connect with their recipients. Some are promised a contact and then the recipient never follows through with the connection. Others still just can't make it happen because of the distance between them. I decided that it's now or never for me. As much as I love to travel, I don't have available vacation time, and my income is tied up in wine, Starbucks and athletic wear. I mean, a girl's gotta live, right? I need this time, for me. Plus, I love my job so much I know I won't want to take another vacation for at least 3 years.

My training has been going so well, I almost feel like I'm jinxing myself saying this out loud. I'm not denying that it has been hard, damn hard, but I feel so good about my progress. I think that following my plan precisely and maintaining some discipline with my nutrition has led me to successful preparation. I haven't been logging my pace - honestly, I could care less how long it takes me to finish. I've never been competitive, and my goal is to finish with a smile on my face. I fight my fatigue daily, and there have been times that I came so close to going straight home after work instead of hitting the park to run, but I can't let my fatigue beat me.

Simmer down, it's a temp.

There's no doubt that my recipient has been a significant inspiration to me. Some might think that it's absurd to have someone you don't know be such a motivator for an accomplishment. Every run I take, thoughts of her come to my mind. I think of how amazing it is that the human body is capable of giving up a functioning organ, and yet still able to function. I am more fit now that I was in the weeks leading up to my donation. I remember feeling so focused on my health prior to that surgery and now I feel like it's even more important to maintain that.

I was running for my recipient before my kidney was gone, and now I'm running for all recipients that have yet to find a donor. I'm living proof to everyone capable of donating their kidney, that you will continue to live a full life and thrive in your fitness goals. I couldn't run more than 5 miles before I donated. I ran 10 miles yesterday. If there are skeptics that doubt the well-being of donors, I hope they can see the reality of not only maintaining their health, but improving upon it, after donation.

I'm not nervous for October 30th - I'm excited! I've enjoyed my journey in preparation of my big day. I've learned a lot about myself and I've learned that you don't really have to know someone to be inspired by them. I hope I can inspire others to take the initiative to entertain the option to be a donor, and register to give the gift of life.

Until next time... I'll be putting in my final miles, and still giving lots of smiles!

celebrate life

2011-10-12T08:30:00.001-04:00

OPTN/UNOS policy proposal for public comment

2011-09-29T20:41:00.001-04:00

UNOS/OPTN distributed electronically, September 16, 2011.

[ The proposed policies from the Living Donor Committee, and likely to be of more interest to living kidney donors: #8, #9, #10, #31, #42, #43 & #50. ]

This document contains fourteen policy proposals being offered for public comment. These proposals were developed by OPTN/UNOS committees. When the public comment period ends on December 23, 2011, each sponsoring committee will review the feedback they receive and consider modifications to the original proposals. The OPTN/UNOS Board of Directors may then review and vote on these proposals at its meeting on Juney 25-26, 2012.

We welcome your feedback on this policy proposal and other aspects of the public comment process as we continue to improve the way that we communicate with the community. Please note that all exhibits and appendices to these proposals can be found on the OPTN website via the link below. Please click on this link to provide your comments on these proposals.

You may also send general feedback to: publiccomment@unos.org.

Please submit all comments no later than December 23, 2011. For questions about the proposal, please contact your Regional Administrator at (804) 782-4800.

Thank you in advance for your careful review and feed back on this proposal.

For information on OPTN:

Organ Procurement and Transplantation Network

For information on UNOS:

United Network for Organ Sharing

one year. one kidney

2011-09-22T07:32:00.002-04:00

Happy Anniversary, to me. A Starbucks skinny vanilla latte is helping me celebrate. Yum.

One year ago today, September 22, 2010, I donated my kidney to an unknown recipient. I remember waking up from the anesthesia and whispering to my mother, "I'm so happy I did this." And I still am.

I would do it again tomorrow, but I can't. I recall going into surgery early that morning feeling remarkably calm as I laid down on the operating table. My last thought before being put under was how unfortunate it was that I was going to miss the moment that I had been anticipating for 6 months. Bam! It's over, and I have nothing to show for it, but my scar. It's a constant reminder, and a good one. I think doc did a damn fine job.

September 20, 2010

October 31, 2010

September 22, 2011

My left kidney is now in the body of a beautiful 29-year old woman in Bakersfield, CA. And I wish I was there with it. Hello, sunshine!! Last I heard, she is doing fantastic. Her doctor has given her the go-ahead to have another baby, and she is thrilled to be working once again, going to school, and enjoying the wonderful life that for so long she had been stripped of. I don't have much contact with her, but a warm text message pops up once every few months with an update on her health. You can't imagine how relieved I am when I hear of this good news. I still think about her every day.

I often get questioned about my health since that big day. (Physical, not mental, cuz they all know I'm a freak.) Friends still ask me how I'm feeling, and what changes I may have noticed since the donation. Honestly, I feel great. No pain, anywhere. As you can see from the crappy iPhone pics, my incision scar has healed beautifully and I am still shocked that they pulled anything larger than an M&M out of that. And there would be gobs of them... peanut, coconut, peanut butter...

There is one side effect from my surgery that has not diminished. Fatigue. Boo hoo. It's bad and it's not getting better. I hate to admit it, because outside of this one issue, I'm exactly the same person I was on September 21, 2010. The fatigue was expected early on in my recovery, and I was aware that I would have to work through it over time. Well, it's been a year now, and it's not any better than it was the day after my surgery.

I am a very busy chick, and I do push myself, but I know my body and I know that I feel different now. I believe that fatigue is manageable. It's not pain, it's an inconvenience. I work through it, but it's hard as hell. Some days I feel like I could fall asleep standing up. Even when I'm in the middle of the most exciting and stimulating adventure with friends, I feel tired. All. The. Time. It never goes away and I am having a hard time tolerating it. But, I will. I do.

There are donors that have experienced this long-term fatigue, as I have been doing some research online to find suggestions as to how they cope with it. I know there are prospective donors that read my blog, and I mention all this because I think it's important to be honest in sharing my experience. I do want to be clear though that not all donors suffer from this particular side effect. I want to reiterate that every single donor has a unique experience - before, during and after surgery. Some donors have suggested that maybe I am still not healed and that the fatigue will slowly go away. That would be great and I am anxiously awaiting that possibility.

The goal with my blog was to inspire and motivate just one individual to donate their kidney. That hasn't happened yet. However, I have met some amazing donors that I have had the pleasure of mentoring over this past year, and that's a huge achievement in my heart. I hope that I can continue to educate, inspire and be a friend to those that are beginning their donation journey. I know I had a wonderful mentor when I began mine and I want to continue to help others in the same way that Cara helped me.

I am so fortunate to have the ability to do what I did. I enjoyed the process, the research, the knowledge I gained, and more than anything, I have enjoyed knowing that I have given new life to a woman, her husband, and her daughter.

For those interested in learning more about becoming a living kidney donor, please visit the following organizations online to get more information. Take the opportunity to have the most meaningful experience of your life - donate your kidney.

• National Kidney Registry
• Living Kidney Donors Network
• National Kidney Foundation
• United Network for Organ Sharing

Until next time... It's getting cold in NY, I've released the wool and down comforter - hibernation has begun. Not happy.

UNOS region 9 meeting

2011-09-11T19:16:00.000-04:00

Living kidney donors, listen up!

UNOS (United Network for Organ Sharing) is holding a conference at which they will be forming transplantation and donation policies that could affect current and future donors - and they are doing so without the representation of the donor community.

We need your voice! Please help protect our rights by attending their Region 9 conference with us.

Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

10am-3pm

Albany Marriot

189 Wolf Road, Albany, NY

If you are interested in joining forces with other living kidney donors who want to be heard, please send us an email: lkdalliance@gmail.com

I encourage you to get involved in UNOS through attending this upcoming regional meeting and participating in the policy making process.

Would love to have this opportunity to meet other living donors, and share our experiences!

See you there!

please participate in a donor survey

2011-08-15T20:32:00.000-04:00

I'm reposting this one more time, kids...

This post is for all my fellow kidney donors, both directed and non-directed.

I am working with a group of donors and we have created another survey that we are asking you to participate in. If you missed the opportunity to take our first survey, you can go here, to complete that one as well.

The purpose of this particular survey is to find out what improvements could be made in the living donor community, specifically with the pre and post-op care from your center in which you donated. Your answers will be treated in confidence and will help to plan discussions with transplant programs, legistlators, HRSA and insurance carriers.

Please take a moment to forward this email to any living kidney donor that you might know. This survey can be directed to both altruistic donors, and designated donors. Our goal is to collect 300 completed surveys. We encourage you to share this link on your blogs, social media sites, or emails.

We thank you for your time and consideration and we look forward to hearing from you! If anyone has questions or comments, please contact me directly by emailing me at: ars0168@yahoo.com

Please click on the following link to direct you to the survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/9WVJLSY

Summer will be gone soon (boo-freaking-hoo), so soak up the sun and enjoy the final month of my favorite season!

Smiles...

Angela

inspiration - pt. I

2011-07-26T23:03:00.003-04:00

The Yankees are on and it's actually being broadcast on a station that I get with my 'Poor Girl's Cable Package'. Options also include: Public Access, HSN, C-SPAN and TV Guide Channel. Hell of a selection, isn't it? Anyhow, I'm a little distracted because I have to look up at my 10" TV every time my boyfriend's at bat. I couldn't wait until tomorrow night to share my news, so as scattered as this post may be, here goes...

I pulled the trigger. Not on a gun because I don't like guns. I guess what I mean is that in a moment of confusion, anxiety and immense motivation to reach a goal I had set to achieve this year, I registered today for the L.A. Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon, on October 30, 2011.

This is a big, f*ckin' deal, folks! Why? Because I can't run. I shuffle, I skip, I scoot, and when I'm frustrated, I stomp. Not to mention that I'm out $100 if I break a leg, or need a kidney, or have PMS.

[They're winning. Top of the 7th, 3-0. Don't ask who they're playing because it doesn't really matter.]

As disappointed as I have been with my running performance lately, I was determined to push forward. The frustrations started to increase about 2 months ago, after I completed my first 10K race. I did great at that race, but ever since then, I seemed to be getting slower, and sloooower. I struggled with as little as a 3-mile run and couldn't seem to get anything to feel right. My energy was down, my body felt heavy and tight, and I my breathing became increasingly difficult. My peers in the running community continued to make progress, increasing their distance, and here I was moving backwards. Everything I was doing, I was doing wrong. Depressing. I began to read more in search of tips and suggestions or even answers that could serve as a diagnosis of sorts to make me feel better about my crappy performance. I got nothing.

[Rain delay, bottom of the 7th.]

I decided to reach out ~~and touch someone~~ for help, because I was a little pissed, to be honest. I follow a local blog here, called How 2 Run Fast and emailed the blogger, Mike. I asked if he might know of a local running coach and he was kind enough to put a post about my inquiry on another local blog he writes for, The Times Union Runners Blog. Readers provided some suggestions and comments, but the best reply came from a woman that would be my inspiration to kick this struggle into full gear and move forward. Her name is Mary Ibbetson.

[Top of the 8th, Yankees still winning. Rain still falling.]

Mary reached out and offered to help me. Poor woman. After a few email exchanges, we chatted on the phone and by the end of the conversation, I already started feeling motivated to make some changes. What an amazing woman! (Please take a moment and get to know Mary.) With her inspiration, coaching and torture, I know that I can reach my goal now. As she says, the work is 90% mental. Why then does it feel like it's 90% hell? With the help of her presence in my life, for however long or short it may be, I made a decision to register for my first half marathon. Thank you, Mary.

[Now it's really pouring, still 3-0 and the fans are slowly trickling out.]

I have done a heck of a lot of pokin' around the internet to find the perfect race for my first half marathon. I have reviewed countless options - everything from locations, to themes, to fundraising partners, dates and registration rules. I was shocked as to how many are out there, but also excited that I would even have that many options.

[Home run, Mark Teixeira! Now the Yankees lead 4-1, bottom of the 8th.]

It's strongly suggested that when you create a running goal such as the one I have, you need to make the commitment and register for that big race, whether it's your first 5K, or your 6th marathon. I needed to do that, and I needed to do it now. It will hold me accountable and I'm the type that once I set my mind to something, I will do everything in my power to follow-thru because the one person I never want to disappoint, is me.

[Game over and the Yankees win!]

I have 13 weeks to train for this. For some reason, the training program I have to follow does not include: Sal's mojitos at Hattie's, the yummy Death by Chocolate ice cream from Stewart's, Jimbos at Bomber's, Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie at The Lighthouse, and my Friday night bag 'o pork rinds in bed. It should. Guess I'll need to make some minor modifications.

My brother and I enjoying what I now know was my last mojito for the summer. Boo hoo.

So, I've started my training, I'm excited and proud of my decision to register. More importantly, I know I can do this.

Oh, and there's one more reason why I selected this half marathon in Los Angeles...

Until next time... I'm counting the days until the Runyon 5K at Yankee Stadium!

survey #2: transplant centers and care

2011-07-22T22:09:00.000-04:00

This post is for all my fellow kidney donors, both directed and non-directed.

I am working with a group of donors and we have created another survey that we are asking you to participate in. If you missed the opportunity to take our first survey, you can go here, to complete that one as well.

The purpose of this particular survey is to find out what improvements could be made in the living donor community, specifically with the pre and post-op care from your center in which you donated. Your answers will be treated in confidence and will help to plan discussions with transplant programs, legistlators, HRSA and insurance carriers.

Please take a moment to forward this email to any living kidney donor that you might know. This survey can be directed to both altruistic donors, and designated donors. Our goal is to collect 300 completed surveys. We encourage you to share this link on your blogs, social media sites, or emails.

We thank you for your time and consideration and we look forward to hearing from you! If anyone has questions or comments, please contact me directly by emailing me at: ars0168@yahoo.com

Please click on the following link to direct you to the survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/9WVJLSY

Hope everyone is enjoying their summer!

Smiles...
Angela

happy 4th of july

2011-07-04T06:54:00.000-04:00

Wishing everyone a Happy 4th of July! Whatever you are doing to celebrate our holiday, be safe, eat too much and enjoy a few libations - but please be responsible. I'm off to participate in the "Firecracker 4", a 4-mile road race in beautiful Saratoga Springs, with yummy bad food and an ice cold beer to follow. Have a beautiful day, everyone!

living donors doin' D.C.

2011-06-20T22:07:00.004-04:00

It's gonna be another long one kids, so grab a PBR, sitchurass down and read yourself to sleep...

Back in February, I volunteered to take an online test for the Department of Psychology at Georgetown University. This 90 minute test featured several visual tasks and questions that would determine if I would eventually be eligible to be a participant in their Social Behavior Study on Altruistic Living Donors. Because my brain is flawless (duh), I was selected to be a participant and invited to spend a weekend held against my will, in a dark and cold science building on the beautiful campus at Georgetown University. Dr. Abigail Marsh, and her adorable assistants (beautiful and smart - I hate them all) arranged for the testing on Saturday, June 4th.

As many of my readers know, I have made a special bond with my donor mentor, Cara Yesawich, since first being introduced to her last spring. As luck would have it, Cara was selected to be a part of this study too. A little organized planning, with the help of Georgetown University and Cara, we scheduled our testing on the same weekend so that we could finally meet in person. I don't know if I was more anxious to meet Cara, or have my brain picked. My anticipation for this weekend was killing me leading up to it and I feel so fortunate that this opportunity came my way. Cara and I decided to add an extra day to the weekend so that we could tear up the town Saturday night and leave our mark in D.C. We succeeded and I must say that I have found a friend for life that totally 'gets me', fills my heart with joy and enjoys wine equally as much as I do.

Kidney sisters, for life...
Cara and I enjoying dinner and drinks, and drinks, and drinks.

We were told very little about the purpose of this study. We knew only that the day would entail a series of tests, an MRI and an interview by Dr. Marsh. Considering the battery of medical and psychological tests that we both went through to become a donor, we knew we could handle pretty much anything they would throw at us.

Our arrival at the CFMI (Center for Molecular Imaging) was at 10am, and in we strolled hungover, still up from the night before, and stinky. Kidding. Kinda. No, I'm kidding, we were clean and sober, greeted by Dr. Marsh and her assistants, and given our itinerary for the day.

Our first item on the agenda was to meet privately with Dr. Marsh and her team and sign our life away, again, on all kinds of paperwork. Since I was having an fMRI scan, a pregnancy test was required, just to confirm that I was safe with no bun in the oven. Now, I have never selectively taken a pregnancy test in my life. I'm not sure if that's a good thing, or a bad thing, but it's the truth. I don't even know how they work, to be honest. The assistant gives me the test and tells me to dip the strip in the urine sample and then watch for the results. I have no reason to believe that I would be pregnant, unfortunately, but I was more terrified of that test than I was donating my kidney. I don't know what it was, but I was a nervous wreck watching the strip slooooowly reveal the results. I couldn't help but think, what would I have done if it showed up positive? Probably have many regrets about the night before.

I want to know what exactly does 'invalid' imply?

So that drama scene ended quickly and they shuffle me off to begin the fMRI. What is an fMRI, you ask? Well let me tell you.

Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI), is a technique for measuring brain activity. It works by detecting the changes in blood oxygenation and flow that occur in response to neural activity. Get it?

In I go through the tube with this giant contraption thingy attached to my head. I look into the headpiece they place over my eyes and inside is a view of the desktop of a computer monitor. I'm not liking it already. I thought I was going to be able to sleep for 90 minutes and dream of an island adventure with Derek, now I'm being told I have to think. They put a clicker device in my hand with buttons that correlate to numbered answers of the 750 questions that I think I had to answer. I can't divulge the details of the test, but let's just say that I was a little creeped out. Between the repetitive banging noise and the rapid flashing of a million black and white photos, I couldn't stop thinking of "1984". The movie, not the year.

"1984" with John Hurt and Richard Burton
This was me, only they were kind enough to let me lie down.

It was all very surreal, slightly uncomfortable, and too damn hard for 11am on a Saturday morning. I was equally fascinated though. The tests were very interesting and left no time for you to think about an answer. You had to think quickly and accurately and go with your gut. Speaking of gut, mine was getting grumbly and after the 90-minute fMRI exam, I was free to roam the compound in search of food and beverage as long as I kept my ankle bracelet on.

This is some glamour shot, isn't it? Smokin' hot!

They provided us with lunch, so I loaded up from their 450 item salad bar and sat outside to eat since I would not be seeing daylight again for another 5 hours. The one day that I am required to be indoors and I think it could have quite possibly been the most beautiful day of the year.

I think it was about 1:30 after I finished lunch and I was expected at White-Gravenor Building for more computer tasks. If you have never been to the Georgetown campus, you don't know what you're missing. It's absolutely beautiful and the architecture is stunning.

White-Gravenor Building, where we remained for the remainder of our study.

Elise Cardinale and Alissa Mrazek were the two lovely assistants that conducted most of the exams that day. I wanted to adopt them. Beautiful and smart as I mentioned, but they could not have been kinder and more accommodating the entire day. Poor Alissa must have drawn the short straw because she had the pleasure of monitoring me the rest of the day while I took all my tests. I can't share too much information about the nature of the tests, or the brain police will come after me. As much as I would like to provide details on the specifics of the tests, I would not want to compromise their study. They have put so much time and hard work into this program and as important as it is to them, it's just as important to me. Any efforts that are given towards the study of altruistic living donors is applauded by me and I can't thank them enough for this opportunity to help them with their research program.

What I can tell you is that there were several visual challenges. Remember when you were a child and the teacher would give you a word, like 'wet', and then you were given images to select from and had to choose one that would best represent that word, like 'pond'. Well, that's kinda the nature of these tests. Sounds easy, doesn't it? Of course it is, for the first 15 words, then she's shouting out vocabulary with no vowels, showing me photos of world maps and asking me to match them up. Not good. I was hoping for a stack of Rorschachs thrown at me. I'm an artist, not Magellan. I felt like I was 12 again. No, like I was 6 again. It was horrible and did wonders for my already diminished self-esteem.

We moved on to some short answers, fill in the blanks and multiple choice. Now we're talking.

Personality and character questions - the easy stuff, finally.

These were relatively simple, but still had you thinking hard at times. Let's just say, a lot of the material was based on morality, character and values. That's pretty obvious though, since the study is about our emotions, personal choices and why we make the decisions we do.

We finished up all the computer and paper testing and my final portion of the day's itinerary was to meet with Dr. Marsh for an interview. The interview was conducted in her office and 2 other team members involved with the study were present to observe. She asked if she could film me and I told her only if she got my good side. She drilled me with questions that are pretty typical of those that I have already been asked by others in my life:

Was there a life-changing event that motivated you to donate your kidney? No. I was bored and needed some downtime.

How did your family react when you told them of your decision? "You'll do anything to lose 5 lbs., won't ya?"

How has this experience changed you? I walk a little lopsided now.

You get the point. And the questions continued for about an hour or so. I lost track of time, as this was probably the most interesting portion of the study for me. I enjoy talking intimating about my experience and I rarely get an opportunity to do so, freely, without being judged or sometimes even ignored. I suppose that one of the joys of my trip to D.C. was because of the lengthy conversations Cara and I had about our journey - comparing notes, laughing and reminiscing about the day of our surgery.

My day wrapped up around 6pm and although both Cara and I were mentally drained, we had just enough energy left in us to hit the town for a cocktail and a nice dinner. This night was especially enjoyable for me because of our conversation about the day's events. A perfect ending to a perfect weekend.

I don't know the duration of this study and although I have been given some information regarding the purpose of it, it's not for me to share. I will say that it was an honor to play such an important role in the gathering of neurological data that can be derived from living kidney donors. I learned a lot, and I finally had the chance to meet my mentor... my friend, Cara.

Until next time... this girl is lovin' every minute of the sun and sweat in NY!

national kidney registry... thank you!

2011-05-22T20:38:00.002-04:00

On the weekend of May 1, 2011, the 11th Annual Meeting of the American Society of Tranplant Surgeons and The American Society of Transplantation, met in Philadelphia, PA for the 2011 American Transplant Conference. The word 'American' is used way too many times in that sentence. The National Kidney Registry (NKR) was a participant. I can only assume that there is a tremendous amount of scientific and clinical information regarding solid organ and tissue transplantation exchanged and discussed among some of the top surgeons and scientists in the world. Yawn. As interesting as I'm sure the presentations were, I would imagine it would all sound Greek to me. I am intrigued (for the obvious reasons) by this area of study, but know I would last all of 5 minutes as an audience member.

NKR, specifically Diane Zocchia (my transplant coordinator), was kind enough to invite me to attend a reception at this event on the evening of May 2nd. I was thrilled at this opportunity to mingle with the ~~rich and famous~~ NKR Management Team and other transplant center medical staff, but even more excited when she told me that I would be meeting 10-12 living donors. Since my surgery, I have not yet met another altruistic donor and the thought of being able to share stories amongst other donors was very exciting to me. Diane told me I could bring a guest that was with me during my donation experience. Since Derek was knee deep in season, I chose my mom. What a trade-off, eh? Off we go in the Jetta - me, mom and Xanax, on our little roadtrip to Philly, adding a few days to make it a mini vacation. Wow.

Monday's agenda started with a small donor meeting in our hotel so we could all be introduced to each other. What a wonderful group of people, but then again I expected nothing less. Diane asked if we could attend a press conference at City Hall to help publicize the National Kidney Registry. Sure, why not. What we didn't know then is that we would all be asked to speak at the press conference. Thank God for the Xanax. Although I was terrified to speak in front a crowd full of cameras, it was a great experience and I was honored and proud to be there to represent NKR. State representative Robert W. Godshall of PA was in attendance as well to receive a Political Action Award for introducing ground breaking legislation in the Organ and Bone Marrow Act.

(L to R) Lynne Samson, director of the National Transplant Foundation, State Representative and bone marrow recipient Robert W. Godshall (R) Montgomery County Pennsylvania, Gary LeBlanc, director of education and outreach for the National Kidney Registry, Janele Guzik, donor from CA, Judith Pasquarella, donor from MI, Daryl Julich, donor from IA, Hope Preston, donor from NJ, Angela Stimpson from NY and Chris Pricco, COO for OptumHealth Care Solutions (Photo courtesy of AP).

That evening, NKR hosted the 3rd Annual Awards Reception, honoring the achievements of the American Transplant Community. All 11 of the altruistic donors were invited. What we didn't know until that day is that we were all being honored with the American Hero Award. Had I known, I would have upgraded my consignment shop ensemble for something that cost more than a meal deal at McDonald's. Oh, how I wished I had worn my cha-cha heels. I had the opportunity to meet my recipient's coordinator, out of the UCLA transplant center, and also chatted with my coordinator from Weill-Cornell.

Garet Hill, the Founder and President of NKR, gave a beautiful speech that featured just one of the many success stories of transplants that NKR has facilitated.

Garet Hill (center), pictured here with eight of the donors.

Award presentations followed, recognizing individuals and organizations exhibiting an extraordinary commitment to saving and improving the lives of those suffering from kideny failure through paired exchange. I just plagerized that entirely from the program. Last but not least, all the donors were honored with the American Hero Award. Woo hoo! Check it out, it's actually aesthetically pleasing, unlike the slew of bowling trophies lining my mantle.

All 11 donors were presented with this award.

I was so moved, and felt touched that the NKR recognized us for what I feel is not an achievement, but an opportunity. Not everyone is blessed with a clean bill of health that would allow them this experience. The National Kidney Registry was a significant factor in the seamless process of my donation experience. Diane's presence in my life before, during and after my donation made for a beautiful experience that isn't always the case with a lot of kidney donations. NKR is an informative, organized and passionate organization that has facilitated 276 transplants since the program started in 2008. I urge anyone that is considering being a donor to make their first step a visit online to their website and register.

Thank you, National Kidney Registry, for this beautiful award but more importantly, thank you for being there for me during my donation.

Until next time... The monsoon seems to be over and summer is just around the corner. Happy girl!

happy easter

2011-04-24T07:09:00.001-04:00

survey

2011-04-23T19:46:00.002-04:00

I am proud to be part of a group of living kidney donors whom, collaboratively, have created a survey in the link below. We're hoping that this is the beginning of what might someday become a much larger project that will identify the challenges that some living kidney donors face and how we might find solutions to these. We're asking you might take a few minutes of your time to complete the survey - it's very short and direct.

The purpose of this survey is to find out how living donors prioritize possible financial assistance for items such as travel, lost wages, childcare and medical care, post-donation. Your answers will be treated in confidence and will help to plan discussions with transplant programs, legislators, HRSA and insurance carriers. This survey should take no more than 5 minutes to complete.

Should you decide to complete this survey, I would very much appreciate if you could send me an email at ars0168@yahoo.com, simply to confirm your completion of the survey and any thoughts you might have to add to it. If you are residing outside the United States, please indicate this in the email. Again, no personal contact information will be shared with anyone.

PLEASE take a moment to forward this email to any living kidney donor that you might know. Our goal is to collect a total of 300 completed surveys. We encourage you to share this link on your blogs, social media sites, or emails.

Please click on the following link to direct you to the survey:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/LivingDonor

We thank you for your time and consideration and we look forward to hearing from you!

donating blood - 101

2011-04-21T23:08:00.004-04:00

Ok class, listen up. I know most of you are not ready to take the leap and donate your kidney, so I thought we might take a little baby step together and allow me to show you (got lots of pics) just how easy it is to donate your blood. I've been a committed blood donor now for about 4 years and it's easy-peezy. I too am terrified of needles, so I'm not going to listen to the excuses from everyone about how scared they are of the long prong (ooh, does that sound right?) Yes, it's creepy and pointy and sharp and cold, but so was my 10th grade Spanish teacher and I recovered from that trauma.

Go to the American Red Cross website and locate your local blood donation center and schedule an appointment. All you need is one hour of time to draw the blood and all the other clinical mandatory crap they ask you to complete. They will ask you to confirm your name about 10 times and honestly, if you can tolerate that, you can tolerate the needle.

So, let's get started, shall we?

First step is getting through this manual.

They will ask you to take one of these books and read through it.

It's riveting.

It's filled with bunch of legal-schmeegal stuff.

They will call your name and escort you into a very small room filled with snakes. Kidding. The room is really tiny though and it makes me nervous. Don't know why, just does. Anyhow, they begin the 'name game' at this point and within 2 minutes, they've already asked you your name 3 times. Before they can move on to the next step, they have to prick your finger and take a small blood sample to see if your iron count is high enough for them to let you donate. Tonight was my third visit within the last 3 weeks to donate because the last two times I attempted, my iron was too low. Apparently runners are often rejected (story of my life) because the running bounces around your blood cells and affects your iron count. Sounds like a bunch of hooey to me. I ate about 10 lbs. of spinach this past week and evidently the stuff really does boost your iron count. I was good to go!

Finger is pricked with a very small needle and your iron is tested.

If you pass the iron test, they give you a badge. No they don't but I think after what I have been through these past few weeks, I deserve one. They set you up in front of laptop, they exit out the Alice in Wonderland door from the tiny room, and you have to complete the questionnaire provided. They ask you all these crazy questions about illnesses, surgeries, diseases, prison sex, body piercings, etc. This takes only about 4 minutes or so, unless you need more time to think about the prison sex one.

Let's all be honest now...

Now you're ready for the big-people room and you park your rump in this nice pleather La-Z-Boy and the foot massage begins.

I have one just like this at home.

The phlebotomist then gathers her tools and preps for the blood draw. She then asks you your name, again. And again, and again.

Tubes and bags and electronic devices and paperwork...
I really don't know what all this stuff is but it looks important, doesn't it?

They wrap a giant rubberband around your arm and give you a squish ball to squeeze. Your veins pop out like worms and she marks the juiciest one she can find.

Vein is marked, and do I have nice ones! Or so I'm told.

After it's marked, they rub this really dark tanning lotion all over it. Guess it not only sanitizes the area, but gives you that savage tan you want.

She cleans your needle-poking spot, for what seems to be forever.

GRAPHIC PHOTO WARNING: She inserts the needle, I let out this chirpy, squeelie sound like a little baby and within 30 seconds, the creepiness is over.

I look like I have Popeye arms here. Must have been all that spinach.

At the end of the draw, vials are collected in addition to the pints, for testing.

The needle is removed and they bandage you up. All done!

I have oompa loompa arm now.

Blood all packed up neatly and ready to be sent off to my favorite vampire, Count Chocula.

Happy blood.

Total blood draw time was 13 minutes. This figure will vary, depending on how quickly or slowly, your blood flows. This is why they give you a squish ball to squeeze on and off while your'e donating, it gets the blood flowing faster.

The bonus to every blood donation is of course the buffet that is served immediately after. Looks nutritional too, eh?

Dinner.

Now see, that wasn't so bad now was it? My total time invested was 45 minutes from the time I walked in the door until I exited the building. I remember I was terrified my first time, the needle is so intimidating but honestly, you don't really feel it after the first 30 seconds. It's all well worth it and I would encourage all of my readers to please consider taking an hour of your day to save a life.

A few facts from the American Red Cross about why your donation is so important...

Nearly every 2 seconds of every day, someone needs blood.
If everyone donated blood just one more time each year, there would be no shortages.
Your one donation can help save the lives of as many as three hospital patients.
Only 5% of people who are eligible actually donate blood.

Until next time... if you schedule an appointment during the month of April (and we only have several days left), they give you a nice, red t-shirt!

6 months flying solo

2011-03-22T05:26:00.001-04:00

Happy Anniversary to me!

Today marks 6 months to the day of my surgery, and what feels like the longest winter on record. Go away, snow. On September 22, 2010, I made the best decision of my life and donated my kidney to what was at that time, a complete stranger. She is no longer a stranger, but someone that will forever be a part of my life, forever be someone that changed my life.

I didn't know who would receive my kidney. I didn't know their gender, age, religious affiliation, lifestyle, marital status, career, where they lived, or the specifics of their medical condition that had brought them to a life on dialysis. What I did know is that there was someone out there that desperately needed a kidney that would provide them the quality of life they so much deserved. My kidney could have gone to virtually anyone, and I knew when I started this journey that I wanted to let this decision be in God's hands. There was no way I could possibly hand-pick a recipient from this unfortunately large pool of candidates. Can you imagine... eenie, meenie, miney, moe...? I was confident and very comfortable knowing that my recipient would be selected by the only one, in my opinion, capable of making that difficult decision. I thank God that he has brought Julia to me in this very non-conventional way, and given me a purpose in my life.

I've learned so much about myself these past 6 months, and I am grateful for this growth. My physical recovery from the surgery is long over, and with the exception of a minor struggle with fatigue, I feel fantastic. My health over the winter has been superb - not even a cold! My fitness goals and accomplishments are greater and more challenging than before the surgery, and my heart and soul have found a sense of peace and immeasurable fulfillment. My active involvement in the living kidney donor community is now a priority in my life (move over Jeter) and I take great pride and pleasure in being a part of this. Never did I dream that my passion for donor awareness would continue after the transplant surgery was over. Not only has it maintained it's presence in my life, I have found that it has become a new direction for me to explore much further. My desire to gain knowledge and deeper understanding of the challenges of donor/recipient matches and paired exchanges continues to intrigue me and I have become somewhat of a 'kidney news' junkie.

In these six months, not a day has gone by that I have not thought about my recipient, Julia. I think about her health and her well-being, and pray that she continues to feel great (because I don't have room for it now if she wants to give it back). Our correspondence is minimal but I did recently receive a text message from her, and my heart was filled with joy when I saw my phone light up her name. She wanted to share some wonderful news with me...her nephrologist has given her the thumbs-up to have another child. If she has a girl I think 'Angela' has a nice ring to it. Naturally, she expressed immense gratitude to me for making this happen and shared some comments to me regarding the option of endless possibilities in her life that she now has, and didn't before. I am so happy for her and her opportunities to live such a rewarding life now. When I'm having an off moment, or I'm feeling a little blue, I think of her and my day seems so much brighter.

Other donors that I have formed relationships with say that the memory of the donation fades over time. Maybe so for them, but I'm pretty sure that this is one Kodak moment that I will never forget.

Until next time... I encourage anyone that has even the slightest interest in exploring the option of becoming a living kidney donor to contact me, or use the resources I've included on my blog list. Educate yourself on the possibility of giving the gift of life.

my body, my mind... take it all

2011-02-27T20:53:00.001-05:00

my body, my mind... take it all
I received some great news on Friday... Somebody actually wants me for my mind instead of my body. Shocking, I know.

Georgetown University researchers in the Laboratory of Social and Affective Neuroscience are seeking adults that have volunteered to donate a kidney, and I am the chosen one (of many). I have no idea what those smartie-pants people do, but I do know that I volunteered to donate a kidney, so sign me up. I love to have my brain picked. It was such a memorable experience to have my internal goodies poked at, I can only imagine how exciting it will be to have them study my gray matter. Boy, are they in for a ~~disappointment~~ surprise.

I've been told that my participation may involve behavioral observation, brain imaging (MRI scans), and psychological interviews. As long as they're not observing me on a Saturday night in mid-August at a bar in Saratoga, I think they will be satisfied with their subject. Or bored out of their minds.

Anyhow, I'm excited. Very excited. I participated in the initial online testing about 3 weeks ago. They warned the participants that the test would take about 90 minutes and fortunately I was allowed to stop periodically so I could pick it up again if I was interrupted. Thank goodness because you know how Derek is such an attention whore and can't possibly be without my presence for more than 15 minutes... ugh, so needy. The test was divided into several sections, covering everything from image perception to ethics. I love this stuff. I find human behavior to be so intriguing, and am fascinated at the statistics that doctors and scientists are able to collect just by asking questions.

I passed the online test and qualified for more. So much so, that they need me to travel to D.C. to spend a weekend with them. Apparently I have fans all over. They're footin' the bill, so away I will go. The dates have not yet been confirmed, but I'm looking forward to this and I feel good knowing that in some small way, I'm helping the living kidney donor community.

Since my surgery, I have tried my best to keep current with all the news and information in the living donor community. I have set up feeds on my email to alert me with stories, news and medical breakthroughs that continue to grow. This is good thing. It's also a bad thing, at times. Sometimes I think I read too much. I see tragic stories daily, of patients living with kidney disease that can't find a donor, or the transplant was not successful and their donated kidney was rejected. This is why I didn't hesitate to participate in this study. My presence in the donor community did not end the day I gave my kidney to my recipient, if anything, I feel as though it's stronger. Because I want it to be.

I have also been invited to attend a conference May 2-3,1011, with the National Kidney Registry. Details are still not solid yet, but I know that this opportunity is not to be missed. I will continue to embrace any chance I have to better myself as a mentor for other living donors. As I've mentioned in past posts, this is a huge part of my life and I'm lucky to be there for others that are beginning their journey. With time, patience and education, I know I can provide the proper support to other donors - much like the support that was given to me.

Until next time... this thing called snow - I'm done with it.

reactions

2011-02-15T22:31:00.001-05:00

It's closely approaching the 5 month mark from my date of surgery. Seems like so long ago really, but oddly enough, I think of it every day. It's all good, even the not-so-comfortable memories of the pain, fatigue and a wacky digestive system that took weeks to regulate itself once again. Thanks for the prunes, Mom! The surgery was a priority in my life for many months leading up to the day, and now that the months have passed since then, donating my kidney is still a priority in my life. Sounds weird, I know, but, this experience is a very big part of who I am and nobody can rob me of that. That's what makes it special. It's between me and one other person... my recipient. It's similar to someone that has a career that consumes so much of their life, or a child that reminds you daily of your purpose in life. It's part of who you are, at least that's how I feel. I don't know, maybe it's because I don't have a child (although I was married to one), a spouse, or a career that my life revolves around.

Since this is such a special part of who I am, I feel like it's a bullet item on my 'resume of life'. Ya know, you have your list of achievements, heartaches, challenges and tragedies and somewhere, this fits in. It does in my resume, but I have a problem because I'm finding it difficult to share this with many people that are not already aware of it. I hesitate to bring it up and I'll tell you why. People do not know how to react to this.

I remember being out at a restaurant about 2 weeks prior to my surgery. I was alone and dined at the bar. I had great conversation that evening with a man sitting next to me. Ironically, he happened to bring up the topic of organ donation. So, I went with it. I told him that in 2 weeks, I was going to be donating my kidney. What was up until that point a very stimulating and interesting conversation between two people suddenly turned into a very uncomfortable and awkward moment for me. He freaked out. Really. I had barely gotten the words out of my mouth and the guy did a 360 on me and told me that we couldn't talk about it because it 'grossed him out'. Those were his exact words.

"You're doing what with your kidney?" Oh, the horror!!

So, I poured my drink on his lap and made a quick exit. Kidding. That's what I wanted to do. What I really wanted to do was ask him, "Why?" I mean, I'm not going to bring up a topic like cock-fighting with a complete stranger if I know I'm going to be turned off by the elements in the conversation. It was an unexpected and uncomfortable moment for me, but it was also just one of many that would come in the future.

Of course most people that I meet through friends and family who become aware of my experience, are curious and typically very gracious with their kind words. This is all nice and I enjoy chatting with them and answering their questions about "Why did you do this?" and "Weren't you afraid?", etc. But there are also those that just give you this blank stare. You can just read what they're thinking by the freaky expression on their face. I've had some that don't even blink an eye and quickly change the topic to something so banal and generic that it screams of "Oh my God I don't know what to say so I'm not going to say anything at all." Ok, fine. Seriously, it's ok, but as someone that has lived through such a wonderful and fulfilling experience, it's a slap in the face to ignore it. I move on and I truly won't hold it personally against them, but it does make me wonder... What are they fearing in this?

So, my brilliant mind is telling me that what they are fearing is what they don't know. I don't want to sound all Dr. Phil here, but c'mon, wouldn't you all agree? Back me up on this one, will ya? It's very difficult for some (I've been told by dear Mom) to understand why someone would want to electively do what I did. Hey, I get it, I do. Maybe it's just my ever-inquisitive mind, but, if someone told me something that I knew nothing about, I would go out of my way to get as much information from them as I could. Isn't that how we learn and grow? I realize that we're not talking about something as common as car repair, but it's got to be even moderately interesting to know something about organ donation, right? You don't think I'm sounding biased, do you?

Sure, maybe I'm a teensy-weensy biased, but this is precisely how I made the decision to become a donor. I was having a conversation with a co-worker. He brings it up and I ask away. I was so damn curious that I went straight home after work that evening and spent hours researching it online. How are we as living donors expected to raise awareness and spread the word about living kidney donation if we can't find willing listeners? I always said that I would listen to anyone discuss anything as long as they were educated and passionate about their topic. You're not going to find someone more passionate about it, and I'm continually educating myself daily so that I can fill in the blanks to curious listeners.

I would be interested to know, from other donors reading this, what kinds of reactions they have received when the topic is brought up with strangers. Maybe it's just me? I would also like to know how other donors go about bringing this up in conversation. I can assure you that it's not something I feel is appropriate for every situation, but once you get involved in conversation with someone, do you sometimes feel it's something better left unsaid? Blogging about my journey has been my outlet, for the most part. I could never imagine trying to share all the information I've shared here with people I meet on a daily basis. I guess I just want to be able to continue to comfortably do so, but face to face. I'm living proof that people don't have to feat this opportunity. As I've mentioned here in the past, I know that this is not something for everyone, but please embrace the opportunity to learn more about it. Donating the gift of life to a stranger should never be a topic that is dismissed by others. It's my pleasure to try my hardest to make it a topic that we can all embrace.

Until next time... I miss my strappy heels and my summer dresses... bring on summer!

hello, julia... how's my kidney?

2011-01-27T22:20:00.002-05:00

After pondering for several days and memorizing my internal script, I decided to call my recipient on Christmas Eve 2010. I felt this would be the best time to reach out to her. Three months had passed, we were both most likely feeling pretty good, and it was Christmas and I get a little melancholy at that time of the year. She included a phone number in her 'reach-out' letter to me after her transplant, and my mentor (Cara), suggested that she wouldn't have included it if she wouldn't welcome a call from me. I thought everything through, including the exact time of day that I felt would be the most convenient for her to receive a call from her donor. The last thing I wanted was for her to be in the middle of wrapping gifts, boozin' it up with eggnogg, entertaining friends and family, or at a church service. I wanted it to be just right. I wanted my palms to stop sweating and my voice to stop shaking.

Julia's beautiful letter written to me. I just had to frame it.

Making that exciting phone call after a first date never came close to the anxiety I felt before dialing. I had gone over, again and again, what I was going to say. I coached myself to not talk too long, not too short, don't be shy but don't be too animated, don't drop the "f-bomb", etc. Was it appropriate to ask her about her medical condition that led her to the transplant list? Was it ok for me to ask for visitation rights? Was it too intrusive to inquire about her family, lifestyle, recovery, etc. So, I said, "Hello, Julia... how's my kidney?" Nothing like puttin' myself out there, eh? I mean, what could she say, "Who is this?" Who else would it be?

We've all had those moments in life where we finally get to speak to someone that we have seen in photos and anticipated how they might sound, and how we can feel their personality come through the phone. I was dead on, when I heard her voice - kind, articulate, very feminine, compassionate, grateful and enthusiastic. And I'm sure she thought I sounded like a truck stop waitress that inhaled 2 packs of Kools a day. I was pleasantly surprised as to how comfortable our conversation flowed. I had a list of questions, but knew that I would edit them as the conversation progressed. It was like we were old friends making that 'catch up' phone call on the holiday after not speaking for a year. We gabbed like I used to gab when I was 18, spending hours on the phone with my BFF. My heart was filled with so much love when I talked to her. There are very few people in my life that I feel really do listen when I speak and I could tell that she listened with her heart. Aw, a warm and fuzzy moment.

I did ask her, with her permission, to share with me her medical condition that would eventually lead me to be a part of her life. When Julia got married, she and her husband decided to have a child immediately. During her ultrasound, the doctor found that she only had one kidney. It's rare, but it does happen, to about 1 in 750 people. As the months passed, she began to get sick, and her kidney was failing. They had to induce labor very early in her pregnancy, at about 6 months. The baby was fine, but Julia was not. She went into a coma and suffered a stroke. She recovered but the condition of her kidney worsened, and was not going to get any better. The doctors told her that when her kidney was diminished to functioning at only 13%, she could be put on the transplant list. She was able to run dialysis in the evenings, which allowed her to continue to work, but her lifestyle suffered physical limitations.

Ding, ding, ding.... enter, me! :-) So then I yank my kidney out, toss it in a cooler and ship it to her FedEx so she can borrow it for a while. Julia's doctor gave her permission to go back to work on January 10th. She said she feels fantastic, and that my kidney is doing a fine job. Phew. The thought did cross my mind before I called her that my kidney may not be fairing as well as she and I anticipated. Then what do I do? Send her a Starbucks gift card and a letter of apology?

I'm not exactly one to get too excited about Christmas, but I can honestly say that this phone call was the best gift anyone could have given me. I can't think of a better recipient that I have been blessed with to receive my kidney. I know that there are altruistic donors out there that never have contact with their recipients, and I understand that sometimes it's the wish of the donor and sometimes the wish of the recipient. Not knowing my recipient after the surgery never would have altered my decision to become a non-directed donor, but I feel so lucky to have such a special connection now to someone that will forever be a part of my life.

Until next time... I'm counting the days til Spring!!

new year. new you.

2011-01-01T20:00:00.003-05:00

I made plans for New Year's Eve - something I haven't done in about four years. I was never really one to do much for this annual night of celebration. It's typically very cold here in Albany and I would much prefer to stay in with a good flick, some yummy take-out and a bottle of bubby I can hog to myself. This year I decided to do something very different.

About a month ago, I had this spontaneous idea to fly to Chicago to meet two very special ladies... my donor mentors. I couldn't think of a better way to ring in the new year, than to celebrate it with two women that have made such an impact in my life. Both of these women reside in Chicago and it just seemed so perfect for me to take advantage of their proximity to one another. I called Cara Yesawich and asked her what she thought. Kinda weird calling someone you've never met and basically inviting yourself to stay with them for a few days to celebrate New Year's Eve. Just as I expected, she was more than happy to have me and I immediately contacted my other mentor, Robyn Wheatley, to let her know of my plans, hoping she would be just as receptive. She was. I bought my tickets the next day and since then, it was almost all I could think about.

The opportunity to meet these women was something I never really thought would ever happen. I decided that I need to begin making these important moments in my life start happening. I have a habit of saying "I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that..." and I never do any of it. It's all well thought out, but it never really happens. Shame on me. Life is too short and I have decided that when something means that much to me, I need to do everything possible to bring it to fruition. I was scheduled to depart Albany on Thursday afternoon, and then return on Sunday afternoon. A nice long weekend with two very beautiful women and an opportunity to tear up the Windy City into 2011, together - the three' kidney sisters.'

My trip never happened. Cara called several days ago to tell me that she was needed to care for a dear friend who had become ill. I could hear it in her voice how hesitant she was to tell me, for fear of disappointing me and ruining our New Year's Eve plans. She was right, I was disappointed. I was disappointed that I would not be able to see her and Robyn. But, I was relieved and not all that surprised that she didn't hesitate to come to the need of her friend. Cara is one of the most selfless people I know. Of course I would understand and quite honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. She needs to be with her friend, and canceling my flight took all of 3 minutes. No big deal. I will reschedule for a trip in Spring and explore the city with them when we can wear our flip-flops instead of our snowsuits.

Friday afternoon I decided I would spend my New Year's attending a performance by Savion Glover performing locally here at The Egg . Three years ago I had tickets to see him and became violently ill at a pre-performance dinner with a friend and had to eat the tickets. I should have eaten the tickets, literally, then I wouldn't have barfed all over the place. So, when I saw he was going to be here on the 31st, I jumped at this opportunity to finally see him. What a phenomenal show! I find his talent fascinating to watch and the energy he exudes is amazing. Anyhow, I ended up having a wonderful evening, despite not being able to be with my friends.

I share this story with you because I think it's important to remind ourselves sometimes that life is full of disappointments. We can't always have things the way we want them, or when we want them, or even with whom we want them to be with. Sometimes we just get dealt the crappy hand. I decided to take advantage of my free night and spend it doing something that I knew would make me smile. And it did!

2011 is here now, and this new year once again brings some new opportunities to all of us. Take it one day at a time, and never forget that there is no dress rehearsal in life. I'm going to try my best to make some pretty damn good lemonade with the lemons life hands me.

2011

New challenges.

New beginnings.

New goals.

New heartaches.

New love.

New laughter.

New you.

• Have no regrets. The tragedy and triumph is what

makes us who we are.

• Read one news item a day that you have no interest in.

You'll learn something new.

• Be playful. It will give you a renewed sense of energy.

• Maintain balance, but never give up your indulgences.

Practice everything in moderation.

• Surround yourself with positive, open-minded people.

• Laugh. Laugh hard and loud.

• You can't take care of anyone else, unless you first

take care of yourself.

• Ignore your telephone, your cable and your email one day a month.

• Money will not buy happiness.

Some of the best memories in life will not cost you a dime.

• 'Please' and 'thank you' will go a long way... a very long way.

• We all have shortcomings. Pick one and commit to self-improvement.

• Work hard but play harder, and don't forget to rest.

• Brush your teeth three times a day... and smile.

• Start your day with a good stretch, a glass of water and

some humorous talk radio.

• Challenge and move your body, every day.

• Want less, accept more, and give the most.

• Maintaining your identity is the key to happiness.

Don't ever let anyone rob you of that.

• Celebrate without reasons.

• Pray. To whom or what is irrelevant.

• Take a vacation, by yourself.

• There is no excuse to be bored.

• Pay someone a compliment, with no expectation of gratitude.

• Listen to your heart, it can take you on some of

the most unforgettable journeys.

• Forget the ex-flames, and look forward to a new one...

yes, it will happen.

• Say 'no' to jealousy, it can suck the life right out of you.

• Discuss ideas and concepts, not people.

• Try something new that scares the hell out of you.

• Cherish your health - never take it for granted.

• Relationships come and go, but nothing will ever separate

the bond of a close friend.

• Love, love and love some more.

Happy New Year!

Until next time... embrace the challenges in 2011, be lucky you're alive to do so.

presence - 2011

2010-12-24T19:17:00.008-05:00

This is my post from 2010. I told myself when I started this blog that I would not re-post. Guess rules were meant to be broken. This is one of my favorite posts, and I feel that it's worthy of round two. Have a wonderful holiday everyone...

My memories of Christmas as a child are probably some of the fondest. I love my family and I thank God that I have the most caring, supportive and loving parents anyone could ask for. I can now recognize as an adult just how much effort, love, time and care they put into making Christmas truly special for me, and my siblings (but I know they love me most!) In my opinion, Christmas is for children. It's that one day of the year that is truly magical. Sorry, Disney, but I got one on ya!

I'm an adult now (biologically anyway) and Christmas just isn't the same. The magic is lost. The lights, the music and the spirit is still lingering, but the essence of what it always was as a child is now over. That's ok, and I don't mean that in a 'Debbie Downer' kind of way. I just think that being all grown up changes the perspective and the mystery is now diminished. Unfortunately, it seems that consumerism and a society that thrives on self-entitlement has stolen that beauty of what once was such a meaningful time. I often wonder if the 7-year-olds of today are as mesmerized by the simplicity of a homemade Christmas cookie as much as I was at that age, or those exciting trips to have breakfast with Santa. Their focus has gone from the wonderment of crafted creations in the kitchen to the possibilities from a click of a button on an electronic device. There is no nostalgia in that, and I believe there never will be. I remember so fondly being at Grandma's house and the ribbon candy and white porcelain Christmas tree that lit up when you plugged it in. That's what sticks to your ribs and becomes a part of who you are. I know I enjoyed the presents, but my memories are more of the presence... of my family.

Christmas now is spent with my immediate family only, and while that has changed over the years, the time sharing laughter, food, drinks and love is still the same as it was when I was five. Sure, the cast is a little different, a bit smaller, a lot older, and much wiser, but the love is still there. My expectations year after year are minimal, but are always met because the most important gift of this holiday is the interaction among my family. Now that, is magical.

I hope that everyone is blessed with the opportunity to share time tomorrow with someone they love. Let's not forget what the day is really about, and how we can continue to give gifts throughout the year that don't come in wrapped packages. Gifts of support, time, care, knowledge, humor, kindness and love. I really have only one wish on my Christmas list - I wish that I might inspire someone to give the gift of life by becoming a living kidney donor. Ok, I lied, I have two wishes and the other one wears a pin-stripe uniform, swings a bat and has a really cute butt. Make the new year for you, the possibility of another year of life for someone else. Donating your kidney might not be for you, but what about donating your tissue and organs when you're deceased?

Create memorable moments tomorrow with the ones you love and enjoy the spirit of what the day is really about... booze! Kidding.

Until next time... Happy Festivus, everyone!

support, please? - part II

2010-12-12T20:56:00.002-05:00

In my lifetime, I've found most often that any support I've needed has come from immediate family members or very close friends. After all, they know me best and the trust and loyalty I need from them has been well established for many years. So, I guess I would say that I would never imagine that I would seek support from someone that I had never met before, yet alone ever spoken to.

As I began my journey of donating my kidney, I found that I didn't have a choice and would need to look elsewhere for this support. I wanted to find others that would be able to give me the knowledge, information, facts and honest opinions to all my questions about kidney donors, and their experience. As much as I love my family and friends, there was no way in hell they would be able to help me with this. They weren't even aware at this stage of my journey, so seeking support from them was out of the question. I needed a new friend and mentor to be there for me when I was 'stuck' with crazy questions about everything ranging from how to successfully accomplish my 24-hour pee tests to filling out the numerous documents required.

I had spent many hours doing research on living kidney donations and at this point I was confident that I had collected all the information I needed to feel comfortable with the actual surgery. What I didn't have was information about the personal and delicate questions that any patient is hesitant to ask of their physician. I knew there were many tests to come, prior to my surgery, and then I also knew that recovery would be another area I was lacking information about. When I connected with Harvey Mysel (Living Kidney Donors Network), I asked him if he could possibly provide me with contact information of other living kidney donors. My thought was that if I could talk to others that had been there and done that, I would be able to absorb the entire experience more thoroughly, through their words. Harvey suggested I contact two donors; one was a woman from New Jersey who donated in March of 2010, and the other was a woman living in Chicago that was going to be donating in the upcoming weeks.

I didn't delay the connection I needed with them for even one day. My first phone call was to Hope Preston. Hope lives in NJ and donated her kidney at the same hospital where I would eventually end up having my surgery. She was so kind and helpful, providing me with the answers to the questions I had about Weill-Cornell specifically, and also sending me a copy of a journal that she kept detailing her daily progress before and after her surgery. This was extremely helpful and it really broke down the experience much more clearly for me.

The following day I called Cara Yesawich, the other donor Harvey told me about that was soon to have her surgery. Little did I know just how much this woman would become a part of my life. I new she was someone special after the first phone conversation we shared and I also knew that she would be the mentor and friend that I needed during this inquisitive time for me. Cara provided me with all the answers I needed, even the most embarrassing and personal ones. I felt so comfortable talking with her and never hesitated to ask her something regardless of how stupid I thought it was. I think knowing that she honestly didn't mind helping me was a huge relief. I never once felt as though I was bothering her and got a positive vibe from the beginning, that she truly cared.

For those that are in the process of becoming a living kidney donor, please request a mentor if you find you need someone that can be there for you who has lived the experience. You will be so relieved and comforted just knowing you can rely on a buddy that will give you guidance as you progress through your journey. I'm persistent when I want results, and I will be assertive to get them. One thing you won't find in all the literature you receive is answers to questions (honest answers) about pain, scarring and digestive difficulties during recovery. Ya know, all the poop questions. What about all the mobility challenges I would encounter after surgery? I never even thought of that. Cara prepared me for the little struggles I would have like preparing meals and getting in and out of bed. I also would have never known if all the weird things spinning in my head immediately before surgery were natural. All these thoughts were so easily dismissed in my mind with a quick phone call or email to Cara. The discharge papers they hand you when you leave the hospital are about as informative as a clue on a scavenger hunt. It's a joke, really, and I can't tell you how much post-op information I got from Cara, daily. She was my angel, and still is.

So, should you be in the beginning stages of your donation, I urge you to find a mentor. The Living Kidney Donors Network, the National Kidney Registry, Living Donors Online, Cara, and myself included, would be more than happy to help you with your questions. We are not doctors, and don't claim to be, but during such an important experience in your life, you have the right to ask virtually anything you want. And, you have the right to get an answer, with a lot of support and care packed into it.

Thank you, Harvey, Cara, Diane, Robyn and all the other donors that were there for me when I needed support - when I needed a friend.

Until next time.... hope you're all enjoying the Christmas spirit.

support, please? - part I

2010-12-04T15:27:00.002-05:00

NOTE: Until now, this blog served as an online journal for me, and those that chose to follow me. I feel as though I was successful in delivering that content. I will be approaching a 3-month post-surgery date soon and I need to shift my focus now on mentoring. Going forward, my intent is to provide more material to inform & educate donor-wanna-beez. My goal is to give those beginning their journey, the information I felt I needed most when I made the decision to be a living kidney donor. For good measure, I'll toss in a few irrelevant posts for my audience - to some I will humor, others I will bore to tears...

I can clearly recall the night I decided to take the leap to explore living kidney donation. I spent hours online, Googling this and Googling that. I didn't even know there was a term that would describe what would be the experience I would be able to undergo only 6 months later. I was all over the place and eventually got bounced to several sites providing me with scrumptious recipes on kidney bean salads. Ok, so I got a little sidetracked (and felt a little gassy just reading about them.) Anyhow, I was putting a hell of a lot of effort into this research but I didn't really know what it was I should be researching. Good thing I wasn't on a deadline or I would have failed the project.

My brain is a sponge for information. When I'm on a mission to learn something new, I thrive on the minutia. Give me details, please! My research that evening, and many others to follow, provided me with more material on kidney transplants/donations/surgery than I could ever absorb. So, here I am with all this crap and I don't know how to digest it all. Do I begin with educating myself on kidney disease and those who are suffering while waiting for a transplant, or do I jump into the fire and call my local hospital and ask them where I sign to donate my kidney? This was the start of what became my only frustration of this journey... not knowing where to begin, and then how to follow through.

I knew what I needed. I needed support. I needed a 'go to' person, web site, contact, book, video... whatever. I just needed a good solid source that would give me a step-by-step plan to follow. I'm also a teeny-tiny, itsy-bitsy, lil' bit of a perfectionist and thrive on guidelines and rules (except for my sugar intake.) God forbid I make a move forward if I'm not following a proper protocol, especially with something as important as donating my kidney. I couldn't believe how many web sites include 'network', 'organization', 'foundation' or 'association' - preceded by 'kidney'. My attempt to determine which one was more credible than the other failed and I was becoming more frustrated by the moment. I couldn't help but think to myself, if they are all offering equally accurate information, then why can't they all get together and create one giant site called... everythingaboutkidneydonations.com. Nice ring to it, eh?

You'll be shocked to know this, but, I'm impatient. I know, I know, I have a flaw and I can't believe it myself either. I was anxious to kick this up a notch and really make some progress. Don't know how many of you have heard of Facebook, but I decided to give it a shot and post a query on my status update. Bingo! You should try it sometime. Harvey Mysel, president of the Living Kidney Donors Network, was quick to respond to my post and within days we had shared our first phone conversation. Harvey became that source that I was seeking, the support and clarity I needed to move forward hitting fewer roadblocks as I aimlessly surfed the web.

Now I could really get down to bizness! Harvey's guidance was instrumental in my introduction to become a living kidney donor. Armed with more knowledge about the process, and the direction to move forward to yield solid results, I registered online at the National Kidney Registry. I would soon learn that my journey becoming a living kidney donor would give me not only a meaningful experience, but a very special connection to a support system of other living donors.

- Part II to follow...

Until next time... as you shop for holiday gifts, don't forget about your favorite non-profit organization.

thanksgiving

2010-11-25T07:20:00.002-05:00

Since I've been an adult, Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. I love the anticipation of knowing exactly what the day is going to be like, and never being disappointed. It's an easy holiday. Easy, because there is nothing superficial about it and people have little to no expectations from others. It requires little effort and lots of love. Sure, preparing the meal requires time and hard work but something tells me that those who volunteer to serve up the goods, are just as happy to share their labor of love with you as you are to savor it. Plus, it's my annual tradition to watch 'Planes, Trains and Automobiles', and laugh my a** off again and again at the same stupid scenes.

This Thanksgiving will be special to me because I will be participating in my first 5K race since my surgery. I ran the local Turkey Trot 5K last year on Thanksgiving and really enjoyed the energy and stimulus of the crowd. This year I decided I would participate in the Cardiac Classic 5K, here in Schenectady's Central Park. Truth be told, I'm terrified - not of the race, but of the temperature right now. Mr. Weatherman says it's at around 22 degrees. Scorcher, eh? I will look like the Michelin Man, with my 5 layers of clothing, but I don't care. This is a big day for me, and I don't expect anyone to understand, but... I'm running a 5K two months after I donated my kidney!

I have been dedicated to my training since I was given the green light by my doctor to start running again on October 22nd. I am still slow, I'm winded a bit, and I still have small and short stabbing pains in my abdomen that come quickly but leave just as fast. I'm just now beginning to get back to my goals at the gym with my strength training, and hopefully soon will be much stronger. See, I find this all fascinating. It blows my mind that a person can donate their organ, recover, and then feel as though nothing really happened only two months later, and then have the ability to run a road race. I'm dreading the cold temperatures but very excited to participate. My goal is to finish (before Christmas). I don't care how long it takes me (yes I do), and I'm sure this is not going to be one of my better races, but, it's a huge accomplishment for me.

For today's race I posted this sign on the back of my Michelin Man outfit...
I'll be wearing it proudly.

Perhaps some of you readers would consider donating your kidney but are concerned about your ability to successfully continue your physically challenging activities long after your surgery. You should be concerned, just as I was. Because just as fitness is the balance in my life, I know that many others have prioritized activities in their lives too. I'm here to tell you that you will not lose that ability. Please don't let that fear hinder your decision to become a living kidney donor. You will recover. You will get your strength back. You will feel fantastic. I do!

This year, as I reflect on what I'm thankful for, among all the elements I have in my life that make me feel blessed, I'm most thankful for my health. Look where it took me, look at who received it, and look where it's going... today.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving everyone, and I hope that I might inspire somebody today to take the path I chose and be a living kidney donor. The journey will be uniquely yours, but you will have me and many other donors, behind you and supporting you every step of the way.

Until next time... for today - eat lots, love your family and friends, and never take your health for granted.

the dash

2010-11-13T16:04:00.009-05:00

On Sunday, November 7, 2010, I had the pleasure (sad pleasure, but meaningful nonetheless) to attend a donor memorial, presented by the good people who work for The Center for Donation and Transplant (CDT), here in Albany, NY. My friend, Jen, is an organ procurement specialist for CDT and was kind enough to ask me if I would be interested in joining her. My immediate response was, ‘Sure, I’ll go, will there be any cake served?” Because it’s all about the sugar, really.

So, on Sunday afternoon, I put on my dress-up ‘girly’ clothes and off we went. Mistake #1 was not asking enough questions about exactly what this event entailed. Mistake #2 was neglecting to tote a large box of Kleenex with me. All I remember Jen mentioning was that there was going to be a guest speaker representing the transplant program at Albany Medical Hospital. I was intrigued by this and knew that I would walk away learning something about organ transplants, so I was game. What Jen didn’t tell me was just how sad, touching and heart-wrenching this ceremony would be.

This memorial is an annual event that pays tribute to all those beautiful people who have lost their lives, and donated their organs. Family members and loved ones of the donors were there to represent them and remind us all just how special they were and how special they continue to be, by giving the gift of life to someone else. Jeffrey Orlowski, CEO for CDT gave a beautiful opening speech, followed by a reading given by the parents of a donor. This poem is called, "The Dash". I was so moved by these words that I felt I should share them with you all. As I’ve said before, I understand that organ donation is not for everyone, and I can appreciate this. It’s a very personal decision. I do believe though, that anyone that reads this poem will for even a moment, think twice about how precious our lives are.

The Dash
by Linda Ellis

I read of a reverend who stood to speak
at the funeral of his friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning...to the end.
He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth…
and now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own;
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard…
are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left.
(You could be at “dash mid-range.”)

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real,
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
and more often wear a smile…
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy’s being read
with your life’s actions to rehash...
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent your dash?

See, I wasn’t kiddin’ ya, was I? Wow, talk about rippin’ your heart out. After I abused the hell out of a box of tissues, it was time to strike up the band for more grief and misery. Why not add to the despondency in the room by inviting a musical trio to share a dirge or two with the crowd as the family members were invited to come to the front of the room to announce the name of the donor, and light a candle in their honor? There were 42 families invited, so I only tore up 42 tissues in the second half of this somber ceremony. I don’t remember the last time I felt so emotionally exhausted and torn up. While I would never volunteer to subject myself to this afternoon of torture again, I will never forget the meaning and acknowledgement shown toward so many deceased people that have given a new lease on life to so many others.

This event was important to me because it reminded me how much the gift of an organ, cadaverous or living, means to someone who’s life is diminished without it. For those that can’t go forward with the decision to be a living kidney donor, please don’t forget that you can still donate life by registering to be an organ, eye and tissue donor upon your death. How wonderful to be able to let your memory live on in the body of someone else, long after you’re gone.

I never got my cake at the memorial service, but I did get the opportunity to be among so many others that can appreciate and honor the meaning of organ donation.

Until next time... register to be an organ donor today!

scar(y) - boo!

2010-10-31T20:02:00.009-04:00

WARNING: Post contains graphic photos, but it's Halloween so suck it up!

I’ll be honest here, I have contemplated sharing this post for some time and it’s all because of my fear of posting these photos. But, this blog is for future donor-wanna-beez, and I’ve decided it’s very important to reveal the incision pics. After all, this is the most important part of the procedure really. This is where it all happened, and it's a mark I will wear proudly, forever.

When I was conducting research about living kidney donors, I can only recall locating one image of a donor’s scar from the surgery. Hey, I’m curious, just like anyone else would be, right? Now, I’m not a narcissist and I’m not terribly vain, but if there’s one part of my body I feel pleased to be genetically blessed with, it’s my waist and belly button. I have a relatively flat stomach, no muffin-top yet, but I’ll never be Jillian Michaels either. I’m healthy, I can complete 100 sit-ups with little effort and thanks to my genes, I just naturally have a small waist. God gave me child-bearing, disproportionately large hips instead.

Yes, I’ll admit it, I did have concerns as to what my scar would look like 6 months after surgery. I also came to terms that I might not like the results of how it healed, or the shape, or the color. Considering the gift I was going to give, I told myself that this was all irrelevant in the long run. And it is.

So, here ya go... BOO!

Before...


This photo taken September 20, 2010 - 2 days before surgery.

12 days post-surgery...

This photo taken October 4, 2010 - 12 days after surgery.
Steri-strips still intact, belly still swollen.

5+ weeks after surgery...

This photo taken October 31, 2010 - 39 days after surgery. Scar getting lighter daily.

So, there ya go... kinda creepy, eh? Kidding. It's not creepy, it's science and as far as I'm concerned it's a medical miracle. I can't believe that they pulled an organ the size of a computer mouse out of that tiny little space. I gotta say, doc did a fantastic job and it's still not healed completely. I know and have learned, it will fade more and not be as tough as it is now. I'm tending to it daily with Vitamin E oil and have been very fortunate that I had no infections during the healing process.

I have had many donor-wanna-beez ask me about the incision.. How big is it? ... Does it hurt? ... How many do you have? Well, every donor is going to heal differently, primarily because we all have different surgeons and they all perform using different techniques. Because my surgery was performed laparoscopically, I was fortunate to have only one incision, some donors will need to have additional incisions based on their situation. Yes, it still hurts, but I'm not in pain. It's more like a hard pinch, and still sensitive around that area. It's getting better every day and I even started doing abs again at the gym. It's hard work, it's uncomfortable to say the least and feels weird (and I know I look weird doing them), but I'm getting there.

My purpose in this post is to convey yet again the simplicity of this experience. Look and see for yourself, I truly don't think that this scar is really that bad. I would do it again tomorrow if I knew I had to live with another one next to it. Hey, it's far less offensive and much more attractive than some of the tattoos I've seen, and this scar saved a life!

Until next time... To all the donor-wanna-beez, keep the emails coming - I have lots to share with you all so don't be shy: ars0168@yahoo.com

2,861 miles away and alive, in julia

2010-10-26T22:26:00.004-04:00

My physical recovery from my surgery has been going so smoothly, and improving at a much faster rate than I had anticipated. I'm still feeling lethargic, but it's not stopping me from pushing forward. I'm running again - well, skipping/shuffling/scooting, is more like it. It's coming back, but I am taking it easy and only increasing my time/pace minimally to avoid any setbacks.

My emotional state since my donation has been better than expected as well. I feel fantastic, and probably more alive than ever. I feel like my spirit is lifted, my heart and soul is fulfilled. To be honest, I never really felt like this surgery was a 'big deal'. Yes, it was a pain in the a** getting stuck with a needle a thousand times, and all the emails, phone calls and organization of the logistics during this journey was quite honestly, just annoying. But that's it. No. Big. Deal. I hopped on the table in the O.R. for my surgery, I awoke hours later, I rested for a week and now I'm at close to 100%, or at least I feel like I am.

The past week or so I have been thinking more about my recipient. Wondering...How she was doing? Was she healing, or was she suffering setbacks? What about her new New York kidney - was it living up to its expectations, or was it checking out once in a while for a Pinot Grigio and a glance at Derek suffering the loss during his last game of the season? I have heard nothing from her transplant coordinator and decided that I would give her a call in about two weeks to see if she could 'check in' on my lil' kidney. She mentioned to me in a phone call the day after my surgery, that the recipient wanted to contact me and would do so by letter. Just like my grandmother waiting for her TV Guide Magazine, I sprinted to the mailbox daily, with hopes of seeing an envelope postmarked with a big "CA". I truly felt like I would never hear from her, and had pretty much accepted that, sadly, but never regretting once my decision to donate. Everything happens for a reason and I felt that if she didn't want to reach out to me, she had her good reasons, and that's ok.

On Saturday, October 23rd, I pulled an envelope from my mailbox, postmarked from Bakersfield, CA. I barely had a moment to retrieve it from the box before my heart and eyes poured tears of joy. My hands shaking, my eyes crying and my heart filling with purpose. I haven't cried that hard since Ricky Martin came out of the closet. It was ridiculous and had I been in front of an audience, I would have died of embarrassment. It took about 3 minutes before I could even open it, I was admiring her handwriting and my mind was buzzing with curiosity as to what was inside. Quite honestly, I didn't care. She could have inserted a coupon for a free car wash and signed her name and I would have been satisfied. Just the very thought of receiving contact from her was very emotional for me. I had been waiting and wanting, but truly feeling like it might not ever happen.

I pulled out the notebook paper folded neatly inside and out popped a small photo of her taken with her husband and daughter. So, again, the tears were flowing like a river and I'm gasping for air. Look! - it's my recipient, there she is with my kidney inside of her! She's real, and that's her family right there in front of my eyes! I can't believe it's real and that this is the person that is living freely with my crazy little bean inside of her. Unbelievable!

Her letter so beautifully scripted, so precise and elegant, so gracious and kind, thoughtful and caring. It was so much more than I ever had expected.

   "...you donating your healthy kidney to me has given me
   a second chance at living a longer, more healthy, and
   more fulfilled life. You, Angela are my 'Angel' and I
   will always hold on to that."

   "...recovery for me has been going well. My labs have
   been great and the doctors are happy with my new
   kidney function."

   "...know how grateful and thankful I am for the best
   gift I could receive... your donation was the beginning
   of a chain that will save so many other lives - may
   God bless you abundantly for your act of kindess."

Two pages of sincere gratitude and honest thoughts that mean more to me than I ever imagined. After reading this, I now know that this was a big deal - a very big deal. It's really real and I am amazed that I am sitting here today in New York, and my kidney is 2,861 miles on the other side of this country providing a new lease on life inside a woman that I have never met. It has finally hit me and this entire journey that all along seemed so simple is now so much more. I am thrilled and filled, with emotion. I am blessed and proud to have given this gift. I am so very excited to begin a beautiful connection with this woman that will forever be a part of me, this woman named Julia.

Again I am asking you, the reader, to please just entertain the thought for a moment as to how easy and possible it is to donate your healthy kidney to another that so desperately needs it. I encourage you all to at the very least consider the conversation with yourself. You can't imagine how meaningful this experience is, and how little sacrifice you are making to provide someone with a much deserved quality of life that most of us take for granted. Ask me how you can become a non-directed kidney donor - how you can save a life.

Until next time... Happy Halloween!

goody, a goodie bag!

2010-10-08T21:29:00.003-04:00

If you're like me, you love to get cards and packages in the mail. During my recovery I received several 'get well' gifts from friends and family. I love that moment of anticipation before opening it, like when you were a kid at Christmas, shaking and feeling the form of the package to help you better guess what was inside.

I came home today to find that orange and purple FedEx package on my porch and got all excited. Ooohhh, who's sending me something good? It was wrapped in a soft bubbly envelope and I could tell by it's form that there were several small boxes inside. I looked at the return address label and noticed it was sent from the UCLA Health Systems. I knew it couldn't be another blood kit, cuz I'm pretty sure we're all done with that for a while.

The transplant coordinator from UCLA had sent me a goodie bag, or should I say goodie box(es). "How nice", I thought as I opened the envelope and saw several small boxes inside. Slowly I opened them, one by one and my God, what an array of showcase prizes, folks! Bet ya didn't know that when you donate a kidney, the hospital sends you: a ballpoint pen, a notepad, a keychain with an "EVERYDAY HERO" charm, a packet of mints (I think) and a stainless steel thermos. That's right kids, it can all be yours, for just one small kidney donation.

My showcase of prizes... and a bill.

And you all thought that I was going to walk away from this without any type of gratuitous gift. Shame on you.

After letting my pulse rate drop, I decided to move on to the real good stuff... the mail. I notice an envelope from Weill-Cornell Hospital and decide that since my level of excitement can't quite get any highter at this point, I'll open this one next. Not again? Another nice gift, this time from NYC (I'm getting hit from both the west coast and the east coast - lucky girl). Folded neatly inside was my invoice, for my organ that they ripped out of me. How nice. I haven't seen a bill with that many figures on it since I got my bar tab in Vegas. Who wants to take a guess at what my beautiful organ is worth? C'mon, don't embarrass me, after all, the doc said I had beautiful insides.

$12,751.00 I gotta know what that $1 is for.

I don't mind tellin' ya, I'm disappointed. I was kinda shootin' for something around $24K. I mean, hypothetically, should I have decided to sell the kidney, like on eBay or something, I'm sure I could have raked in at least $20K, right? Well, it is what it is and I've decided that I'm going to send that invoice back to Weill-Cornell and ask them to give me credit. I could use a little lipo.

Until next time... GO YANKEES!!!!

thank you, and you, and you...

2010-10-06T21:42:00.001-04:00

Today is two weeks to the day of my surgery. Aw, kinda like an anniversary. I'm recovering well, I think. At least I feel like I am. Today was my second full day at work; I went back last Friday but could only tolerate a half day. Monday wasn't too bad, but I left at 3pm. Up until Monday night I have not been able to sleep through the evening and have been experiencing the worst of my pain in bed at night. It's because Derek hogs all the space in the bed. It's because I can't get comfortable. However, last night was great! A full night of sleep and I felt like a million bucks when I woke this morning.

Because my pain is diminishing daily and I haven't been as distracted, I've had more time to ponder and reflect on this journey, specifically the recent surgery. As most of you know, I live alone. I don't have a husband or a child to ~~annoy~~ care for me. What I do have is an unbelievable support system of friends and family that makes me feel like the luckiest woman in the world. Were it not for their concern, care, comfort and genuine generosity, I know that this recovery would have been extremely challenging, lonely and emotionally painful. I am fortunate to have many friends, almost too many (do you want some?) and this has probably been the first time in my life when I have truly needed their help. It's hard for me to ask anyone for help, and I know that's an ongoing character flaw that I've yet to lose, but I've discovered that these people in my life are there for me because they want to be. What a great feeling it is to know that I have surrounded myself by some of the kindest friends a person could ask for!

So many people did so many wonderful things for me, and I wanted to take some time to thank them, here. Let me start by saying that I can't possibly list them all, the Facebook friends list alone would have you all napping by the 10th name, but I do feel the need to express my gratitude for a select few. If you don't want to stick around for this, then go ahead and bounce over to water your crops on Farmville or tweet your friends about who you hope will be kicked off of Dancing with the Stars next week. Just know you'll be missing what to me is the most important post I've offered yet. Buh-bye.

In no particular order, so don't get all weird about this, ok?

Amanda (my sister) - You were there to entertain me, make me laugh, reassure and comfort me, calm me and most importantly, provide me with your unconditional love and support. Thank you so much for being there at my side prior to my admittance and after the surgery in the recovery room. You're the best sister anyone could ask for.
Mom - Your support of my decision to be a donor means more to me than anything you could ever do for me in my life. This was the most important and meaningful decision I have ever made and knowing you were behind me 100% made this experience so pure, without any hesitation, because of your love. I love you so much.
Cara Yesawich (my donor mentor) - Although I've never met you, I feel like I've known you forever. Your time, information, honesty and care are more than I could have asked for in a mentor. Your phone calls and emails of encouragement, support and post-surgery tips were priceless to me. I hope to one day be able to meet this angel that I feel so connected to... thank you for being there for me, Cara.
Robyn Wheatley (my donor mentor) - You too live so far away but I feel like you're right around the corner. Your daily emails and calls to me after surgery comforted me and made me feel secure about my progress. It was so nice to know I could just pick up the phone or email you and within minutes you had all the answers. I hope you and I can run a race together one day, just because we only have one kidney doesn't mean we won't kick ass!
Harvey Mysel - Without your response to my Facebook status update, I don't think I'd be writing this blog. Your kind and honest approach in providing me with direction and support as I was processing my decision was the confirmation I needed in knowing that this was the best gift I could have ever given to someone. I hope that in the future I can return the favor by helping your organization by becoming a mentor. Thank you for providing me with wonderful mentors and accurate information. I admire your strength and motivation.
Diane Zocchia (transplant coordinator - National Kidney Registry) - I know, I ask a million questions, and you deserve a raise! Your specific information and detailed account of your own kidney donation was so reassuring to me. I appreciate all your work on the logistics of our lodging at the hospital - that big 'ol city scares the hell out of me and thanks to you, I didn't worry about a thing. NKR is lucky to have you on their team and I am so fortunate to have had you with me every step of the way. Thank you for adding the personal touch to this journey that I found to be so comforting to me.
Sue Rice - I now have enough food in my freezer to last me until St. Patrick's Day. Thank you for your generosity and thank you for adding more junk in my trunk.

I want to thank all my friends for the beautiful cards, emails, text messages, phone calls and special gifts you have all given me. Just knowing you all cared is what really is important, and I thank you for that.

I hope to post a nice detailed account of my recovery soon, as I feel it's very important to share this information with all potential donors that are just beginning their process of being a living kidney donor. Just as it was important to me to know the facts and the personal experiences of other donors, I hope to now be able to mentor others with the same intent.

Until next time... can someone please send me some very hot sunshine and warm weather? I'm already gettin' the winter-time blues... :-(

recovery

2010-09-27T18:52:00.003-04:00

Wednesday, September 22, 2010 ::
My time in the recovery room was a bit of a blur, for the most part. Heavily drugged with Dilaudid, I still remember the moment my sister and mom entered the room to my bedside. I gave them a slippery smile and a thumbs-up, feeling so good about what had just happened. It's times like these that make me so thankful to have such a supportive and loving family. I don't know what I would have done if they weren't there. Presence is comfort and sometimes words aren't necessary.

From what I've been told, my surgery lasted 2 hours and I spent 2 hours in recovery. I remember the young man wheeling me from recovery to my room and joking with me about my crush on Derek Jeter. (Apparently he is on my mind when I'm unconscious too!) Sliding my body over from the gurney to my hospital bed was excruciating. This young man that seemed so cute and appealing only moments before was now the sounding board for every foul word I could utter - poor little fella. Anyhow, I'm in bed and then the parade of nurses and attendants begin their grand entrance. As you all know, it never stops, for the duration of your stay. Every 15 minutes someone is entering the room with a request to poke and prod. Forget sleeping because you know the minute you're just starting to fall into a nice snooze, housekeeping feels the need to empty your garbage can.

Surgery was Wednesday morning and by early evening that night, the nurse had me up and walking. That first time getting out of bed was hell, I'll admit it. I can't decide which was more painful - navigating all the IV and catheter tubes while trying to walk, or putting one foot in front of the other to make my way down the hall. If they have those little clips for all your electronic wires at home why can't they come up with some nifty little device that just clamps all that shit together in one convenient tube? I felt like a fly caught in a spider's web. Help, get me outta here! Oh, and they have these cute little signs in the hallway that mark every 50 feet so you can track the distance you've traveled on your "Road to Recovery". Hey, I have an idea, how about a rest-stop every so often with a little stand that could offer pain meds and cool beverages to get you through your next 100 feet or so? No?

Thursday, September 23, 2010 ::
Didn't sleep at all Wednesday night. I mean, at all. That bed, NO, it's not a bed, it's a giant maxi pad strapped to chicken wire, was the most uncomfortable thing I've ever been horizontal on. Seriously, the shiny, linoleum floor was looking pretty damn good by about Thursday night. Thursday morning was hell, again. My back and abdomen felt like it had been gutted and left open for the vultures to snack on. Ugh, the pain. More Percocet, please? Ah, how sweet it is. My first meal: bagel with cream cheese and jelly, apple juice, apple sauce, hard-boiled egg and hot tea - yummy! A can of 9 Lives would have tasted good, since I hadn't eaten since 1:30 on Tuesday. I was so excited to be able to brush my teeth and wash my face. Not so excited to look in the mirror however. Maybelline, where are you?

Since the bed was so uncomfortable, and I couldn't sleep, I walked. And I walked, and I walked. Little did I know I would complete a 5K while hospitalized. It's the best thing for me, I know, and it truly is the quickest method to recovery. They told me I could go home Thursday night but since my family hadn't made plans to come pick me up until Friday, I stayed another night. I did manage to sleep 2 full hours that evening and it was like heaven.

Friday, September 24, 2010 ::
Friday morning, the surgeon stopped in to give his discharge approval and checked the womb. He said I had 'beautiful insides' and that my nephrectomy (big medical term meaning... kidney extraction) was one of his smoothest. Yeah! Seriously, this was a huge compliment to me and I felt so flattered. This, is precisely why I feel it's so important to live a healthy life. My motivation to maintain a healthy lifestyle is so that my organs, bones, blood and brain stays strong and solid to carry me for many, many more years.

The best news I received that morning was via a phone call from California from the recipients' transplant coordinator, Suzanne. I knew on Thursday morning that her transplant was successful, but had not heard any updates since. Suzanne wanted to share with me the news that my recipient did indeed wish to contact me! You can't imagine how happy I was to hear this. As I wiped away the tears, Suzanne told me how she read my letter to the recipient and her family after she came out of recovery. She said that they were all so touched and repetitively told Suzanne to tell me 'thank you', over and over. I decided that I wanted my recipient to initially contact me via email, as opposed to a phone call. I'm really drugged up and knew that I would be for days, the last thing I wanted was to be incoherent or half asleep when I received that special call. So, as you can imagine, I have been checking my inbox every hour with anticipation of seeing a new email pop up from my special partner.

Discharge

I'm really happy here, but the Percocet has temporarily frozen my facial expressions.

My mom and brother-in-law arrived at 10:15am to take me home. The hospital gave me my Award of Appreciation and it's evident that my sister gave explicit instructions to my BIL to capture every Kodak moment available. And he did. Pretty, aren't I?

Secured in the passenger seat, surrounded by pillows and glossed over with
yet another dose of painkillers for the rode!

May I say that the 3 hour ride from NY to my apartment was quite possibly the most uncomfortable, and longest, car rides of my life. Every little bump felt like a punch to the gut. Soooooo painful and all the pillows in the world couldn't have softened the blows. But, I made it, and pulling in my driveway was a moment to remember.

As excited as I was to exit the vehicle at home, every tiny movement hurt.

I'm home now, and so comforted by my own bed and my affectionate cat. I am sleeping all the time, or so it seems. I have to walk daily, and I do. My appetite is kicking in again but my stomach won't absorb too much food right now. Little bites and small portions, and lots of water. I feel great. I am so happy that I did this and would do all over again tomorrow, but then I wouldn't have any kidneys left at all. I am anxiously anticipating the email from my recipient and can't wait to share a part of that with you all.

My journey through all this has been probably the most meaningful experience in my life, and it's only just begun. I hope to become a mentor in the living donor community and make it my mission to spread the word about the option of being an altruistic living kidney donor. I would not have been able to do any of this without the unconditional love and support of my family. I am so blessed to have them in my life and be there for me when I need them most. I have wonderful and caring friends that have been so kind and caring during my recovery and I want you all to know how much your cards, emails, gifts and phone calls have meant to me. I love you all.

Until next time... could someone please go running for me? I miss it!

piece of cake

2010-09-26T10:38:00.003-04:00

My surgery went off beautifully at approximately 6am on Wednesday, September 22, 2010, and was a success for both me, and my recipient. I want to share with everyone the many details of the procedure, and my path to recovery that I've begun, but I will warn you that my writing skills will be less than average. Me and Percocet have started a beautiful relationship and I gotta say, it's a lovely ride but I'm a lil' bit foggy. I'm a lot-a-bit foggy.

Given that, let's get the party started...

Tuesday, September 21, 2010 ::
Mom and sis accompanied me to NY's Weill-Cornell Hospital where I began a day of pre-op testing at 10am. The usual pokes and prods, and I finally got to meet my surgeon, Dr. David Leeser. (Whom I might add wasn't all that bad on the eyes if ya know what I mean...) One track mind, I know. Anyhow, he proceeded to explain details of the procedure and didn't neglect to leave out the risks. I felt confident and secure with his ability, as I had done so much research on this facility and the team - I knew I had made the right decision to have my surgery at this hospital.

My breakfast that morning, at 7am, consisted of a large Starbucks latte and a berry muffin. I had plans to literally pig-out later that afternoon, in preparation for my big fast after 6pm that evening. At about 1pm, I was informed that I would not be allowed to eat anything else from that moment on. Whuh? You're kidding me, right? So, I ran downstairs and grabbed a banana and Nutri-Grain bar from the deli and inhaled it, with tears in my eyes. Instructions were given for me to begin my 'bowel cleanse' cocktail at about 4pm to prepare my pipes for surgery, drinking only 5 oz. of the 10 oz. bottle, which by the way I had to trek out and purchase myself because I'm sure that they didn't have any of those stocked up in the hospital anywhere. My first stop at the pharmacy one block away resulted in a wasted trip because they were out. Pharmacist sends me 4 blocks to yet another pharmacy that I never could find. So, I set out on an adventure to find one on my own. Walked another 4 blocks and saw a big 'DRUGS' sign in the distance and sprinted towards my destination. They had one bottle left and from the looks of it, it quite possibly could have been on that shelf for as long as I've been alive. I take it back to my room, brush of the dust and start nursing it at about 3:30pm, chugging lots of water with every sip.

Delicious, and refreshing!

Fast forward to about 7pm and I got nuthin'! Nuthin'! I'm getting a little concerned and decide to chug the last 5 oz. of the 10 oz. bottle and at 11pm I still got nuthin'. Little did they know that a Big Mac would have done the trick in less than 5 minutes, but nooooooo. Let's just say that at 3am I was awakened by a dance party in my belly that I would never welcome at any other time in my life but at that moment was ecstatic, and I raced to the bathroom.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010 ::
I arrived at the hospital at 4:45am and was greeted by a security guard that would not allow us in. I said, ~~"Don't you know who I am?"~~ "I'm here for a kidney donation, and my surgery is scheduled for 5am." He proceeds to tell me that nurses don't even arrive until after 5:30am. I call my coordinator, she gets him on the phone and I think rips him a new one, and he lets us in. We proceed to check-in and that's where the Stimpson clan begins to have some fun. Anyone that knows my family, knows we can't possibly go anywhere without behaving inappropriately and violating at least one rule. My sister and her digital camera did a great job documenting the morning's event and as you can see from the photos, acting like an ass comes naturally for those of us blessed to be a part of this gene pool.

Sneaking in a little performance before the transplant team arrives.

Getting caught in the act treating the pre-op like it's a playground.

More blood is drawn, IVs are shoved into what appears to be any available vein in both my arms, vitals are taken, my signature is slapped on yet another dozen or so documents and they give me this beautiful ensemble to don.

The Fall 2010 Donna Karan lounge collection.

Why can't they make these gowns available in primary colors?
Just think, if they were red they would never show blood stains.

Dr. Leeser greets me, marks my belly and then proceeds to share with me his intention of getting a cup of coffee before he meets me in the O.R. "Hey chief, can you make it a decaf? Please?"

Members of the transplant surgical team slowly make their arrival and introduce themselves to me. A (hot) male nurse comes in to the waiting room to get me and I begin my walk to the O.R.

Bye-bye, Mommy. Bye-bye, sis.

Shortly after this moment, I met with the anesthesiologist, and yet another surgeon. Why is it that it's times like these that I am in the presence of what seems to be a squad of Chippendale dancers and I look like death? Hello? Was being GQ model material part of the prerequisite when you all took your medical board exam? Really? I'm anticipating a slew of overweight, middle-aged, angry female nurses and I walk into a room full of men that resemble the Australian soccer team - and I have to get nekked in front of these yummies. I digress.... I'm asked my name, for the 15th time, and they strap me down on the table. That's it. I'm in la-la land and the next thing I see is a nurse leaning over me in the recovery room.

As I said, the Percocet is driving my moves as I recover and I need to wrap up this blog session. I have much more to share, if you can stand it. I hope to return this evening with Part II of the surgery as my recovery experience begins to unfold.

Until next time... this lady is gonna take a pause and pray for a bowel movement to happen in the next 24 hours or my head is going to spin around and I'm gonna spit blood at anyone in my path.

i'm ok, solo

2010-09-20T22:35:00.004-04:00

I'm scheduled for surgery at 5:00am on Wednesday, September 22nd at Weill-Cornell in NYC, and my most important concern is... will my cat miss me? Of course she will and she'll make my life a living hell when I return home by howling in the middle of the night for approximately 3 days to 'show me' just how much she cares. The only reason I keep her around is to remind myself how important it is to compromise and share with your companion. The way I see it, this is just good dress rehearsal for when Derek Jeter decides we should shack up together, only I'll be the one howling in the middle of the night. Oh dear... ok, moving on...

I wish I had a dime for every time someone asked me, "Are you nervous?" Because if my best friend was getting a boob job on Wednesday, I'd be asking her the same thing. The answer is, "NO, I'm not." I'm anxious, and I think that's a little different. To be honest, for the latter part of the day I've been thinking about my recipient and wondering if she has concerns at this point. I don't know about you but if someone was giving their kidney to me, I wouldn't be convinced it was a reality until I saw the surgical scar from the transplant to prove it. I wish I could tweet her or something to let her know it's all snug as a bug here and anxiously awaiting it's new home, but I don't tweet. I would tell her that I have not even come close to changing my mind, or wishing I hadn't chosen this journey. I'm so thrilled to be a part of this and not for one minute have I had a second thought about my decision. I have complete confidence in the transplant team and I am thoroughly prepared for my recovery and the patience that it will require from yours truly.

During this process, many have asked about my concerns regarding the health and fitness abilities I might have after this donation. I truly feel my active lifestyle will not be impacted because I will be left with only one kidney. I'm ok, solo. I intend to regain my strength and fitness ability in time, and am going to focus on being even stronger and healthier than I am now. I want to create new running goals and work on new challenges to keep me motivated and energized. It's so important for me to stress to everyone that living with one kidney does not increase limitations for people, physically. If I played football or participated in a contact sport, this procedure would not have been an option, because the risks are too great that I might be hit or injured severely enough to damage an organ. I gave up MMA last year for bird-watching so I'm all set.

I feel fantastic, mentally and physically. Although I'm still a little sore from my Warrior Dash on Saturday. I've never felt more alive than when I was participating in that crazy event and can't wait to do it again. I'm happy I had the opportunity to get one last race in so close to the surgery date. I'll just have to wait, patiently, for my body to heal and with any luck I'll be up and running again very soon.

Warrior Dash - Windham Mtn. - Muddy, but happy!

Warrior Dash - Windham Mtn.
Friends surprised me at the finish line with Donate Life banner -
perfect ending to a great race!

Tomorrow I leave home at 6:00am and will have my first appointment for pre-op at 10:00am. I then get to meet my surgeon and will be asked for one last time (I hope) to give more blood. I'm gettin' good at this game! I'll be given a lovely cocktail of some crappy tasting rotgut at 6:00pm tomorrow night to get the plumbing all cleaned out and then after what will most likely be no more than a few hours of sleep, I will be admitted for surgery at 5:00am on Wednesday.

My mother and sister will be traveling with me and they will stay with me until the doctor tells security to escort them out of the hospital for loitering. I'm grateful that I have such a wonderful relationship with my family and am thankful to them for being there for me. Now the nurses might have a different opinion but what do I care, I'll be in 'happy land' and oblivious to any chaos they might be stirrin' up to divert from their boredom. I hope to be discharged on Friday.

I'm looking forward to sharing more when I return this weekend. I hope to be feeling well enough to visit the blog at least once and provide an update to everyone. That is if Derek will allow me to spend time away from him. (He can be so controlling at times... ugh.)

Until next time... I'm asking all my followers to please pray for my recipient, that her body accepts my kidney and that she will be able to live a much fuller life now!

runnin' for my recipient

2010-09-12T18:28:00.131-04:00

My surgery date has been scheduled for Wednesday, September 22, 2010!

Sure did sneak up on me, but something told me that I would not be receiving too much of an advanced notice. (A kidney-shaped 'Save the Date' card would be a nice touch, dontcha think?) I received notice about 2 weeks ago but waited to share with everyone until I got some nugget of confirmation. The transplant coordinator at UCLA called me on Thursday to let me know that I will be required to get one more blood draw. Yep, I get to do that all over again. It was so much fun the first time! I will be FedEx'ing my blood to UCLA on Tuesday for one last final analysis by the brainiacs that calculate this crazy statistical matching process of blood types. At least it's crazy to me because I'm lost after a two-step math problem. They are so smart!

I will be sharing the itinerary of my surgery once I get it and I expect it to go something like this...
I get there and they adorn me with a beautiful, satin hospital gown, feathery slippers and a glass of Pinot Grigio to soothe me. I am transferred to a palacial, private room with soft jazz playing in the background and aromatherapy filling the air. There is a flat panel, hi-def, 40-inch TV with an unlimited number of new release flicks and a fridge filled with chocolate covered strawberries, wine, imported cheese and fresh fruit. The bed is laced with only the best Egyptian cotton sheets and a thoughtful nurse has placed a smokin' hot photo of Derek Jeter (nekked) on my bedside table with his personal thoughts and best wishes scribed on it.

Ok, it might not go exactly like that, but I'm certain it will be very, very close to it.

I'm back from la-la land. This past year I set a goal to run (5) 5Ks before the end of the year. I've exceeded that and I gotta say that it's not getting easier. I suck at it. Many of my friends are elite runners hammering out 10 mile runs on their 'easy' training days. Ugh, are you kidding me? Are you stupid? Not only is my running becoming more of a challenge, my pace is dropping, slowly. I've never been a competitive person, and truly could care less if I won or lost a card game, Monopoly, or a hot dog eating contest. My biggest competitor is myself. I'm my own worst critic and while some might say that's not exactly a healthy approach, I don't really know any other way to achieve my goals. I have always felt weird trying to 'beat' anyone, at anything. To be honest, this thing called running is a huge struggle for me. My form is pathetic, I need to nourish myself better in preparation for it and my 'everything' hurts, every time. But, it's so rewarding when I finish a race and just being able to cross the finish line is enough to motivate me to do another one.

In May, I participated in the kLaVoy 5K, in Saratoga Springs. This annual fundraiser supports Donate Life in memory of Kristen Lavoy, a local woman and kidney transplant recipient who lived freely for 15 years because of this gift.

My sign I wore, pinned to my rain-soaked jacket, during the race.

Prior to the start of the race I was introduced to Jen Salm, who is with the Donate Life Center for Donation & Transplant. She is involved with organ procurement and gave me valuable and interesting facts regarding organ donation. She is yet another special person that came into my life and impacted me on my decision to become a living donor. Thanks, Jen!

I'm running for my recipient now, and have been since I received medical clearance in July. Every time I run I have my recipient on my mind. I'm sweating and gasping for air and thinking how much pain I'm in. Then I think about the pain and discomfort she must endure every day. Her challenge is not an option, mine is. Just when I think I want to give up, or slow down, or puke (yep), I am reminded how lucky I am that I have the ability to push my body like this and I'm inspired to keep going.

Only ten days until my surgery to get in a few more hardy runs. I'm going to give it my all to be strong and complete my workout goals this week. I have my Warrior Dash race on Saturday, and I am so excited to be a part of this! I just hope that my kidney doesn't fall out when I'm diving through mud pits and climbing over walls. I'll slap some duct tape around it prior to the start. Duct tape is the solution for everything.

I'm dedicated to being very healthy this week - in mind, body and soul. I've put down the tequila shooters, glazed donuts and chicken wings. The cha-cha heels that have smoked up the dance floor in Saratoga the past 5 weekends are in the storage closet. I've put my bungee jumping and sky diving events on hold. I'm finished with my freelance projects and will be getting some solid sleep this week. The only diversion from my clean-living week is the dysfunction junction I must attend daily, called work.

Until next time... I've begun my annual hibernation preparation at the homestead. Fleece and wool have replaced the summer apparel, and I'm in mourning. :-(

happy, healthy blood

2010-08-31T22:21:00.006-04:00

Let's review, shall we? So, as I mentioned in my last post, they have found a match for me. Yeah! The match they located is from the UCLA Medical Center, in sunny California. Their transplant coordinator mailed me a blood kit and instructed me to get one more blood test that would then be shipped to CA for the final test to complete the match process.

My primary physician's office suggested I go to a blood draw facility, where they would be more familiar with this type of unique situation for a blood test. So, I did. Last Friday I promptly made the appointment for 7am Monday morning at the local LabCorp here in Schenectady, thinking it would be so convenient to pop in on my way to work and still not be tardy. Nope. Mr. Blood-draw Man suggested I take it to Ellis Hospital's Blood Draw facility for testing, where they would be better equipped and familiar to do this type of test. Do I sound like a broken record yet?

I drive over to Ellis Blood Lab and Ms. Blood-draw Lady says, "60 cc's of blood? We can't do that here, it's too much." Ok, so where do I go then, Ms. You're-Letting-Me-Down-and-My-Patience-is-Wearing-Thin Lady? She tells me to go to the main entrance of the hospital and they can do it there. I get in my car and drive to the hospital, park, and am now arriving to have this test 40 minutes AFTER I was supposed to have had my original appointment at 7am. I sign the sheet at the desk. Can I just say that I'm always hesitant to sign one of these when I'm still not sure I'm in the right place to get the service I'm there for. It's like standing in a customer service line for 20 minutes to have them finally call your name only to inform you that you're in the wrong line. Who doesn't love that?!

The administrative assistant at this lab was so nice, but she too suggested they might not be able to do this test here either. Really? Ok, I have an idea - give me the needle, I'll fill the vials, box them up, slap a FedEx label on it and drop it in the orange and purple box. I mean, how difficult could this be? You throw the phlebotomist a curveball by actually being prepared with a ready-made kit for this procedure and they look at you like you are asking them to fill the test tubes with chianti instead of blood. She eventually fills 7 vials with my happy and healthy blood and sends it off FedEx.

Now what? As always, I'm not sure. I think it gets mixed with the recipient's blood and then the smarty-pants technicians come out in their white lab coats and run some crazy mathematical formulas on it and bamm! - it's a go! At least I hope so. I should be hearing from my coordinator from Weill-Cornell within a week, which at that time she will inform me of the final results and if it's positive, a surgery date will be scheduled. This is an exciting time for me right now. Not excited as in... I just stumbled across a shoe sale at Macy's kind of excitement. It's more like the type of anticipation an expecting mom might be experiencing, or the butterflies that flutter in your tummy when you're waiting to hear about a job offer.

This journey is now becoming all the more real for me. It's really happening, and it's sneaking up on me quicker than I had imagined it would. I'm loving every minute of it, and I'm so anxious for that phone call to come to inform me that my kidney is going to be transplanted into another human's body. It's absolutely amazing to me to think that we have this ability to help someone by passing off an organ to them that was once our very own. I'm fascinated that something that is coming from my body will be able to provide a better quality of life for someone.

You can do this too, ya know! Just think about it, please? It's such a small sacrifice. The urine collections, the multiple blood tests, the x-rays and body exams, the phone calls and research are nothing. Nothing. If anything, I have found that during this time, I have gained so much information and knowledge about something that quite honestly, I never knew was possible. It's been so interesting to me, and I'm intrigued by the science behind it all. I am looking forward to the next step!

Until next time... summer is coming to a close very soon, enjoy these final days outside in the sun!

exciting news

2010-08-24T22:45:00.005-04:00

At 3:40pm today I received a phone call from my transplant coordinator at Weill-Cornell. They have found a match for me! Unfortunately it's not Derek Jeter. Oh, wait... that's another match I'm waiting for. Hubba, hubba.

I'm so thrilled to receive this news today and much to my surprise, it has come much sooner than I anticipated. I don't know much, other than this: it's a 28 year-old female. (We might have a problem here if it's Snooki.) Apparently her husband wanted to donate his kidney but is not a match for her. Because he is willing to donate his kidney, my kidney donation may be part of a paired donor exchange transplantation! (Watch the video imbedded in the article, it's a great story that explains this process and how if benefits so many.) See, I give mine to my recipient, her husband then gives his to yet another recipient in need, and so on, and so on.

So, what happens now you might ask? Gee, I don't know. Kinda like I haven't really known too much throughout this entire process until it's actually happening. Maybe that's a good thing. I received another phone call today, shortly after the call from Marian (my transplant coordinator). Suzanne, a living donor transplant coordinator from UCLA, called to brief me on my recipient and to explain the next step in this process. Just as I predicted, more blood. I'm not going to have any left at this rate. They will be mailing me a blood test kit and yes, I again will need to get more blood drawn. Immediately after, I will schelp it over to FedEx and overnight it to California. I have a better idea, why don't I go to California and let them draw the blood there. I've never been and could use a little vacation right about now. Once they receive my ziploc 'o blood, they do another round of tests to confirm that I am indeed a match. Within two weeks I should be getting a call to confirm that I'm ok. Soon thereafter, the transplant coordinators schedule my surgery date. Then I need to put down the glass(es) of wine. Kidding. No I'm not. Yes I am.

Throughout this journey I have been doing lots of thinking. Too much, probably. I've been thinking about the 85,000+ people out there that are in need of a kidney and what their days/weeks/months/years are like on dialysis, their quality of life and the pain and discomfort they have to endure every day. I know that I have yet to have my surgery, and that there is going to be pain and discomfort in the near future for me. But it's temporary. It's a very small sacrifice that I have to make that will enable someone to live a full life again, and for longer. I'm reaching out to my audience to please take a moment to review some information about how to be a living kidney donor at the National Kidney Registry's website. As I've said before, I know that this is not for everyone, and I get that. I also know that for many others it's only a matter of educating yourself to feel confident and comfortable about taking steps to become a living kidney donor. I did - please follow me.

Until next time... I'm taking in the sounds, sights and flavors at Saratoga Race Track this weekend - and I can't wait!

gifts

2010-08-09T21:58:00.009-04:00

I have a close friend that gets so anxious when she receives gifts. Makes her feel uncomfortable, as she puts it. I kinda share her feelings on this, but not on my birthday. Bring. It. On! The intention is to feel self-absorbed on your birthday, and it's the one day out of the year where it's perfectly acceptable for it to be "all about me." Right?

It's the other occasions when I feel a little weird about receiving a gift - ya know, like a wedding shower. I mean, think about it for a minute, really. Let me see if I got this right - I am choosing to make a union with a partner for life (or not - oops, did I say that out loud?) and social norms have dictated that people throw presents at me because of that. I know, it was a different economic climate 50 years ago and when couples chose to marry, they didn't have a pot to piss in because they were like 12 years old. Ok, not 12 but 18. Makes sense to me that they might need a set of sheets and a pot to boil some water in (for the potatoes and cabbage). I find it's not necessary that this tradition still exists and wish it would slowly fade away to be buried with the other ridiculous ceremonial practices of the generations past. Wedding gifts today are expected, pre-selected, ostentatious, and impractical.

The gifts that I just can't seem to get enough of are the ones without the tags and the gift receipt attached. I'm talking about the gifts you receive from the heart, the ones that require the labor of love, the hours of a day, the shoulder that's there for you to cry on and the laughter from the time spent with a close friend. The gifts I love most are those of experiences, not items:

my mom cooking a wonderful dinner for me and baking her yummy desserts - more junk in my trunk
my family helping me move - only 12 times
my close friend spending time with me chatting and laughing over a bottle of wine - don't worry, my kidney told me it hates wine
surprise Sunday adventures that fill me with happiness, planned by a special friend
emails from old friends that have slipped away over the years
a card in the mail
a smile from a stranger - like from the cute guy at the gym that is half my age and doesn't know I exist

You get it, don't you? I know I do. These gifts are special because they are unconditional. They are not listed on an index card that Hallmark created as a suggestion to present to someone. They are presented with unconditional love, thoughtfulness and care. They are experiences, not items that can be purchased in a store. Although every girl can appreciate a little trinket, in a little box, with a little light blue logo that starts with a "T" and ends in an "s". I'm just sayin'.

The best gift I feel that I have been given is my health. Mom, don't get your panties in a wad because I didn't say 'the green acrylic sweater you gave me for Christmas in 1985'. Sorry about that, but you'll get over it. I rarely have to think twice about an ailment I have. Why? Because I rarely have one. For those of you that are stricken with chronic pain, disease, or even a disability, I give you all the credit in the world. I can't imagine the struggle and discomfort that you must endure every day. I don't have any of those challenges in my life. I wake up, and outside of being stiff from an intense workout the day before, I feel fantastic! I am so fortunate, and blessed to have a body that is not impeded in any way. I love the feeling of getting a yearly physical and actually get excited to read the blood test results. Everything internal works just as it should - with the exception of when I consume a Jimbo combined with a Bomber's burrito too late at night.

I really feel that God has given me this good health for a reason. My decision to donate my kidney is my unconditional gift to my recipient. I don't know who this will be, and I might not ever meet them. But that's ok, because I don't need to. This isn't about the response or reaction from the recipient. It's about my ability to pass something on to someone that will hopefully create a better life for them. I feel so fortunate to have such wonderful health that it's a no-brainer to not pay it forward. It's like a chain of goodness. I've been given this gift, now I want to give my gift. Hey, I have two of them anyway, right? That would be greedy of me to keep them both, plus I want to make room for more of my mom's desserts down there. I'm giving a gift that is very special to me that I know I appreciate and never take for granted. I know that there is someone out there that needs this, much more than I do. So, take my gift to you, and with it I hope that you can find even a small nugget of the good life that it has given me.

Until next time... word hard, but play harder - we only get one shot at this.

spreadin' the word

2010-07-29T22:40:00.006-04:00

Once I received medical clearance from the hospital, I felt more confident in sharing my story with friends and family. I've graduated to a new stage in this process and it's becoming so much more of a reality to me now, and I'm going to assume this feeling will only continue to grow. I'm looking forward to the next step of receiving word that they have found a match for my kidney.

Surprisingly, my mother was extremely supportive of me when I expressed to her that I was going to donate my kidney. So much so, that she piped up about an interest in the opportunity to donate as well! Hey, mom... they don't take AARP kidneys - love ya anyway. My siblings were on board with me as well, and as I expected, my brother responded with his quick sarcasm and humor that I love so much about him. I'm thinking little sister immediately downed a margarita after our phone conversation, but shared her support for me, as I knew she would. They both had questions, and I directed them to the blog to catch up on the past several weeks of my journey. What would I do without my tribe - I have the best family in the world. Ok, second best - I really wanted to be one of the Huxtables.

Talking to my friends about this was a little bit of a different challenge. I know I've pretty much opened up about this to the world, via this blog, but there are still some close friends of mine that I have yet to sit down and talk to.

One friend in particular, I'll call her Jess (because she's on the lam), reacted pretty much the way I had thought she would. Jess is in the medical field, and let me tell you, she sees it all - ya know, the gooey and slimy stuff. So, I knew that her opinion and thoughts on being a living kidney donor would reflect the feelings of someone that is very close to medicine, doctors, disease, and unfortunate outcomes. Her concerns are valid and real, and I respect her for being honest and upfront with me. See, that's why she's my friend and that's why I love her. I admire her for her honesty and her ability to not judge, but yet express her opinions with a tender and serious intent. To top it all off, she told me that should I ever need her kidney, she would charge me for it. I'm feelin' the love.

I have yet to spend time with yet another dear friend of mine, and I hope that I will soon get the opportunity to chat about this and let her know that it's not my intent to keep anything from her, but that she is so special to me that I feel the need to tell her face to face. Jeesh, like being a new mom is more important than time with me? Hello? Put baby in the corner and let's have some coffee talk! I'm kidding, folks. I love her and new little angel to death and am very much anticipating our chat.

For those of you that are considering being a kidney donor, I want to offer my opinion on how to comfortably share your news with those you love, and not be overwhelmed with anxiety and doubt. I decided from the beginning that regardless of what reaction and response I received from anyone, my decision was made up and I would not be backing down because of an unfavorable comment. The challenge for me was to be able to share my decision with everyone and not get too emotional from their response. I hesitated with my mom, and I did with Jess too, but it was because I love them so much. It's human nature to want to feel support when you need it the most, but the reality is that you don't always get it. You also don't always have the ability to convince someone to embrace something the same way that you have chosen to. Our friends are special to us because they are not exactly like us, so we have to understand that they won't always be able to agree with us.

Another bit of advice to any donor that is anticipating a challenging discussion with parents and friends - use the internet to connect to other living donors prior to these talks. Having conversations with donors about their experiences throughout their journey will open you up to a realm of situations that you might be faced with once you share your story. I am so thankful to Cara, Hope and Diane for sharing their advice on how to cope with my hesitation about telling everyone of my decision. I felt so much more prepared after talking with them.

So, I'm thinking that there are still going to be many others that I run into who will inquire about 'news' that they heard regarding me, and I will have to elaborate. And that's A-OK with me! I'm happy to share my journey with others. The more I can spread the word about the opportunity we all have to be a living kidney donor, the more successful my quest becomes. If through my journey I can enlighten just one person to be a donor, then I feel like I have made progress. It's kinda like that Breck commercial from the 70's... "she'll tell two friends, and they'll tell two friends, and so on, and so on, and so on..."

Until next time... download the podcast of the Bob and Sheri Show - you will be amazed as to how these two people can bring laughter and meaning to your life!

matchmaker

2010-07-24T21:48:00.007-04:00

I wanted to get to this about three days ago but I have been very busy with a freelance project, plus a girl has to sleep and eat, ya know! I mentioned in my last post about feeling so anxious to get the results from my exams at Weill-Cornell. I had anticipated approximately two weeks of waiting, biting my nails, tapping my fingers, twisting my hair... ok, you get the point. Anyhow, much to my surprise, I received a call on Thursday, July 15th, 2 DAYS AFTER MY TESTS!!! Can you believe it? Well, I can't.

I saw the 'missed call' on my phone and when I checked to see who it was, a rush of excitement mixed with concern filled my tummy. I hesitated for about 5 minutes before I returned the call to Marian. Over the past month I had put a lot of thought into how I might react should I get the unfortunate news that I would not be able to donate. I also decided that should it come to that, I must accept it for what it is and know that everything happens for a reason. However, in my heart I just knew that this was going to work out and that I would pass with flying colors. I did!

It was in the middle of the afternoon and I was at the office - I wanted to scream and shout but thought I might wake the dead that I work with. I can't describe the joy, relief and excitement that I felt. It was almost as if Ed McMahon rang my doorbell and greeted me with a handful of helium balloons and an envelope the size of a VW Bug. Ok not really, but close. The conversation was short and sweet and she told me that the next step was to release the results to the National Kidney Registry so that they could then find me a match.

Again, I was going to give this about 2 weeks, and then I was going to get on the horn and annoy everyone at the NKR to fill me in as to whether they had received the paperwork yet. They must have been having a slow day (or they want to get the Stimpson file off their desk), because I received an email on Wednesday, July 21st, from the NKR. Diane, the administrative coordinator at the Registry, shared the wonderful news with me that they would now begin to look for a match for me! WOO HOO! I certainly hope that they have better luck in finding me a match for my kidney than I have had trying to find a match for my lovelife. This could end up being a 4+ year quest if they encounter the challenges that I have in that department. Let's move on, shall we?

I'm so impressed with the flow of this process as of yet. I think we can all agree that when working with the medical field, speed is not exactly their strength. Not unless they want a payment of course. I am truly surprised at the seamless transition from one institution to the other. I know, they have done this before. I also know that they are experts in their field as well. I guess I just anticipated having to make numerous phone calls and send dozens of emails to get answers and progress reports from stage to stage. None of that has been necessary and thank God because I'm a woman on a mission and they don't wanna mess with me when I've gone too long without sugar. Oh, did I say that out loud? Anyhow, I'm so pleased, I'm grateful and I feel like a million bucks that the last two weeks have been so progressive for me.

Now I sit and wait, and wait, and wait. It's all good though because I am savoring my moments in my journey. I'm enjoying the process, the phone calls, the information, the new contacts I have made with other living donors, and most of all I have enjoyed the love and support that I am getting from all my friends and family. I want you all to know that your presence in my life has made me the person I am today, and I thank you for that.

Until next time... don't ever think it's a good idea to run a 5K when the humidity is at about 130% with the temp at around 80. Just a thought.

so happy

2010-07-15T23:21:00.013-04:00

I received a call this afternoon from Weill-Cornell with wonderful news - I passed all my medical tests! I almost peed my pants when the coordinator told me, but I didn't, I shed a few tears of joy instead. I didn't expect to hear from them so soon, so when I saw the 'missed call' on my phone, from Marian (the coordinator), I wasn't sure what to expect when I listened to the voice mail. I returned the call to find that everything looks good and I have great kidney function! YIPPIE.

I didn't even have enough time to write a post on my big day there. So sit back and relax and I'm going to share with you my experience. What a great day it was - it far exceeded my expectations, with the exception of the crappy weather. I departed home at 5am on the dot and arrived at the hospital with only 15 minutes to spare for my first 9am appointment. I was so impressed with the fluidity of the appointments. I know I didn't have to wait more than 10 minutes between each one.

Appt. #1: I started with meeting Marian at 9am. She went over the basics of this process, I filled out some paperwork and she confirmed with me my itinerary for the day. Marian was very nice, informative and thorough.

Appt. #2: I met with a nurse and dumped off the 2 jugs of urine I had been schlepping around with me since daybreak. Ugh, what an awkward feeling walking around with a borrowed NASCAR cooler filled with iced-up urine. The nurse then proceeded to take 13, (yes, 13) vials of blood from me. I counted them. EW! I then was asked to pee yet once again and waited to see one of the kidney doctors.

Appt. #3: I met with a kidney doctor, and forgive me but I don't remember his name. Nice man, who asked me many questions about my health history, my motivations to become a donor, family history and some basic personal questions. He went over the basics of the surgery and filled me in on what might possibly be a minor setback with regards to a kidney infection I had about 18 years ago. He mentioned the possibility of scarring, but in the same breath told me I have great kidney funtion. The CT Scan would provide the results of that. He listened to my heart, tapped me here and there and I was done.

Appt. #4: I met with Samantha, the social worker. I again fill out more paperwork and we chatted for about 20 minutes or so about my desire to be a donor and I answered her questions about my personal life, medical history, etc. She too was kind and informative and I felt very comfortable sharing so much of myself with her.

Appt. #5: I still have not eaten, nor have I had a drink of anything since the night before. I feel a headache coming on and more than anything, I just want a drink of water. This appointment was for my EKG. I have never had an EKG. Honestly, it took her longer to put the sensors on my chest than it did for her to operate the instrument that provided the test results. No sooner did I have my shirt off than she told me to put it back on. I seriously don't think I was in there for more than 4-5 minutes. Love this!

Appt. #6: Now I'm getting really excited. Why? Because when I'm finished with this one, I'm going to eat my left arm. I am so hungry now and am very anxious for this next test. It's a CT-Scan. I didn't wait more than 5 minutes for this one as well. I actually felt a little weird because there were many people in this particular waiting room and I cut in front of each one them. Hey, they called my name - you don't have to tell me twice! I lay on a table and it slides into this x-ray type of device. I'm hooked up to an IV and am told that soon they will begin the transfer of the dye, through the IV, that enables the equipment to read the x-ray. She told me that I would feel like I peed my pants. Can we just get off the pee stuff for a while, please? Well, it did feel like I peed my pants. Ew! That exam was probably the longest, approximately 20 minutes or so, but not uncomfortable at all.

Appt. #7: Chest x-ray. Quick and painless! I finish, get dressed and inhale the Soy Joy bar(s) I had packed in my bag. I ate them so fast that I don't even remember what they tasted like.

At this point I have one more appointment scheduled for the day, but it's not until 5pm, and it's only 1:30! I call me niece and her boyfriend and ask them to come back to the hospital to meet me for lunch. They hustled back, in the downpour, and within 20 minutes they arrived soaked literally head to toe. I felt SO bad, and yet there was nothing I could do. We swam across the street to a deli and had a great salad and sat down for a while to catch up on the day's events. They walked me back to the hospital and were soon off to search for an H&M store to purchase some dry clothes. My heart was sad because I felt so bad for them in their discomfort.

I decided to visit the psychiatrist's office in which my 5:00 appt. was scheduled for, in hopes that I just might be able to squeeze in sooner. No such luck, but he was kind and told me to come back at 4:45. I went back downstairs and hung out in a nice, comfortable chair in the main lobby and read my Esquire. I dozed off for about 15 minutes but found that the many distractions prevented me from getting some serious Z's. At 4:00 I found a cafeteria that offered Starbucks and washed down yet another Soy Joy bar with some hi-test.

My view from the lobby of Weill-Cornell - all afternoon!

Appt. #8 Of all the appointments scheduled for the day, this next visit with the psychiatrist was really the only one that I felt slightly anxious about. When I know someone is examining my mind instead of my body, I get the heebie-jeebies. Dr. Loftus was so kind. What a great visit I had with him. We chatted for quite a while and although the conversation touched on many personal elements of my life, I felt completely comfortable with him. I was honest and felt like I learned more about the donor transplant process from him than I had with any others I had met earlier in the day. I truly enjoyed my time with him and it was the perfect experience for me to end my day of exams.

I don't know how I could have done it all without the companionship of my wonderful niece and her caring boyfriend. A special thanks goes out to Amber and Nick for being with me on what was to be such an important day for me. They were so flexible and supportive, offering their ears to listen to my updates, and providing me with a belly laugh at their sarcastic commentary. I love those two!

My niece Amber providing me with humor in the waiting room

I arrived back home in Albany at around 9:30. Long day, but a good long day. Information overload, lots of stimulus, lots of learning, and lots of thinking. I felt so good and relieved to have experienced so much in such a short period of time. I never dreamed I would be getting a phone call so quickly to let me know that all the poking and prodding paid off, big time!

I feel blessed today. I feel so fortunate that God has given me a body that has the ability to share something that is so precious to me, with another person that so desperately needs a slice of good health.

Until next time... take a break from your computer for a day, it will offer you some added time to share with a friend.

pee-pee time

2010-07-12T21:19:00.004-04:00

Tomorrow is my big day at Weill-Cornell in New York. I will begin testing at 9am, and part of the tests involve yet another capture of urine for 24 hours. So, at 6:45am this morning I began the process of saving all my urine for the next 24 hours. I took a vacation day from work since I knew it would only make life a lot easier for this task, plus, I am so anxious about tomorrow that I felt being in the office would be counter-productive.

The last time I had to save my urine, the lab provided me with a container for this purpose. This time, I was out of luck since I'm working with the medical office in NY. I was told that I could stop in to any pharmacy and pick one up. They were wrong. So, on Sunday as I perused the aisles of Wal-Marts, CVS and the local supermarkets, I started to get a little concerned as to what the hell I was going to use to keep my golden liquid in... yikes! All I have here at home is a pickle jar and I dared not attempt to put anything in that since I felt like it would take nothing short of a blowtorch to sanitize it. My last resort was... are you ready?... a male urinal container! Oh. My. God. I don't think I would have been as embarrassed purchasing Depends. Not only did I have to purchase it once, I had to go back again this afternoon to get another one because I had already filled the first one. It must be psycho-somatic, because the last time I did this I swear I don't think I captured more than 2 cups. Today was more like 2 gallons. Whuh?

It's around 9pm and I will be hitting the hay soon, as I want to try to get a nice solid sleep tonight. I have to depart home around 5am to give me enough time to make it into the city for my 9am appointment. I am building in some time for rush hour traffic, construction and any accidents that might delay my arrival. Punctuality is my middle name! My niece and her boyfriend will be coming with me as my travel companions and this has made me so very happy. It's just going to be nice to have someone with me to chat with on the trip home, and of course be my chauffeur - woo hoo!

My exam itinerary for tomorrow includes:

• 24-hour urine sample and a blood test
• meet with coordinator
• meet with MD consult
• blood tests
• meet with social worker
• EKG
• chest x-ray
• CT of pelvis and CTA of abdomen
• meet with psychiatrist (boy are they in for a ride!) ha!

I have to say that the only thing I'm nervous about is finding the parking lot. Yep, that's it. I'm very excited and more than that, I'm very curious. Since I've been blessed with such good health my whole life, I have never been exposed to any extensive medical testing. This is all new to me an I am anticipating a lot of medical mumbo-jumbo that I will know nothing about, but that is exciting to me. I will be taking notes and asking a million questions so I can bring it all to the blog and share with others. The entire staff will be relieved when I finally make my exit at the end of the day - they will definitely earn their pay tomorrow!

The one thing I am dreading tomorrow is my fast. I can't eat or drink until around 2:00 or 3:00! What, no Starbucks?! Are you kidding me!!! I have packed up some snacks to munch on once I get the green light to eat later in the afternoon, and you better believe I will inhale every one of them. I'm prepared with all my paperwork, driving directions, magazines and a book. Hurry up and wait, right?

Time to sleep now and I will pray that I'm going to see some very positive results from all my tests within the next two weeks!

Until next time... turn off the TV once in while and get to sleep early. You will feel remarkably rested the next morning.

feelin' good

2010-07-10T23:23:00.003-04:00

As I mentioned in an earlier post, my health is a priority in my life and I never take it for granted. I can honestly say that a day does not go by that I don't find myself thinking about my health, my fitness, my nutrition, my energy level and my great DNA I inherited from my parents. I'm not sure exactly why it means so much to me, but it does. Perhaps it's because all it takes is to observe all the sickness, disease, illness, disabilities and lethargy that plagues so many people. I feel so lucky to be blessed with solid, healthy genes. Sure, I get a cold once a year, and until this past year, the flu would bite me in the winters and bring me down for one week. Other than that, I feel fantastic.

My aches and pains are self-induced, from my workouts - the best kind of pain to have! I've got severe pain in my right shoulder, diagnosed as tendonitis/bursitis about a year ago. Overuse I'm sure, from countless hours at the gym over the past 15 years. I have bad hips, a result of a tilted pelvis bone. I also suffer from asthma - so, I take a pill nightly and it keeps my respiratory system under control. These are minor. Very minor. All this pain is manageable and although none of it will ever go away, it's manageable. So when I hear that a friend is suffering from Lupus, Multiple Sclerosis, cancer, Cystic Fibrosis, leukemia, or any number of diseases and conditions, I feel so damn lucky. I feel lucky because I know how wonderful I feel when I finish a workout. People that are living with debilitating illness can't experience that feeling of physical exertion. It breaks my heart that they are missing out on one of the most exhilarating feelings that a person can have.

My medical workup is scheduled for this Tuesday at Weill-Cornell. It's all I can think about now and probably for the next 3 days, as I anxiously await my next big step in this process. As I was running on the treadmill today, I couldn't help but think about my body, my internal body - the organs and the blood and my heart and bones. All these elements that magically work together so beautifully to create a being. So many questions were rolling through my head. I was watching the Tour de France on the TV during my run and admiring the athletes and their strength and perseverance. I started to think about my future kidney recipient, and I wondered about his/her state of health: How severe was their condition, could they participate in any physical activity? What were their limitations? Would they even want to exercise, if they could? The cyclists in the race push themselves far beyond their limits as they climb those elevations. What are the daily physical challenges that my recipient has to face? I honestly don't think that those suffering from kidney disease have the pleasure of being active. That, is why I needed to step up and share a part of me that I cherish so much. My ability to give a gift of my good health to someone that needs it will by far be the most meaningful experience in my life.

My daily workouts have been so much more significant lately, as the days draw nearer to my tests. I am so curious to see the results from all this and perhaps I won't be as satisfied as I think I should be. Who knows what they will find in all those vials of blood and that big volume of urine - ew, did I just say that outloud? Anyhow, I'm feeling good, really good, physically and mentally. I'm embracing the anxiety and look forward to my big day of poking and prodding!

Until next time... don't forget to brush and floss!

sharing my journey

2010-07-06T21:34:00.005-04:00

Until now, there are few people that I have talked to about my decision to be a living kidney donor. I have of course shared much of my thoughts and concerns with Cara, but that’s a given since it was my blooming relationship with her that inspired me to make my decision. The one person that I wanted to share this with first was my mom, but I really felt that I needed to wait until after my test results are in and I have the green light to proceed with this, to do so. My guess is that it’s going to be a small fireworks display in upstate New York when I drop this bomb on her, but I guess we can’t always choose the paths that our parents hope we will. I am thinking in the long run, my mom will support me but I also know that not unlike most mothers, she is going to be overly concerned. I felt that inviting her into this prior to any real confirmation of the transplant would be premature and could bring some unsettling news to her that might not ever come to fruition. My mom is probably the most important person in my life and sometimes we need to treat each other with extra care and caution. It’s just love, that’s all.

My father lives out of state and last week he was visiting my family for his annual summer vacation. I decided that I wanted to tell him while he was here, simply because it was the only opportunity I would have to discuss this with him face to face. I felt it was only fair to him and didn’t want to disrespect him by telling him over the phone. I also think it’s important to be with someone in person when you are discussing something that is so very important to you. I needed him to know how serious and sincere I was about my decision, and that I had done the proper homework and research to put him at ease a little bit. I made up a small packet of literature that outlined the entire procedure and provided him with a copy of my itinerary for my medical workup at Weill-Cornell so that he was aware of all the tests and procedures I would be participating in. As I had predicted, he had many questions and was so supportive of me. Of course he is concerned, and I know that it was important for him to soak in all the information in the packet to get the whole picture. I have been keeping a log of any and all websites that I feel are solid and factual resources about living kidney donors, and I gave him that as well. I hope that he will take the time to read and review a lot of that data and watch some of the many videos I sent him links to, as I feel they are all really well done.

I have also chosen to talk to my niece, Amber, about this. I called her to ask if she would accompany me to NY for the day when I go for my tests. She didn’t hestitate to accept and she also promised to keep quiet about our little excursion until I’m ready to share more with my family. It was important to me to have someone close in my life be with me for the trip since I am anticipating a long and tiring day. Although I won’t be in any physical pain, I know myself well enough to know that I will be exhausted for the return trip and having her with me to drive home will be such a nice gift to me.

I have mixed feelings about conversations with friends and family regarding my decision to be a living kidney donor. I am so confident and comfortable with my decision, but I am also anticipating some negative reaction from many. The technical questions thrown at me will be easy, because all I have to do it point to the numerous resources providing the information about kidney transplants. It’s the personal questions that I might find will be difficult to answer. I’m a brutally honest person; I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I certainly wouldn’t want to offend anyone, nor do I want to be put in a situation where I feel I might have to defend myself with my decision. I suppose I will cross that bridge when I come to it. I have chatted with other donors to get some feedback as to how to ‘break’ the news to those you might anticipate will not respond so favorably. Every case is unique, and so is mine. There is no script, and I'm the type that speaks from my heart so I'm sure when the time comes, the words will flow smoothly. I’m a strong woman with strong convictions and live with purpose. I suppose that they will just have to accept that I now feel I have a purpose.

Until next time... our summers here in upstate New York are short and sweet - appreciate and embrace the sun and heat!

may the testing begin...

2010-06-28T21:45:00.004-04:00

My decision to become a living kidney donor gives me the option to donate to a specific individual that I may personally know (whom I might be a match for) or, be a non-directed donor to a recipient that would essentially be a stranger. My hopes are that I might be a candidate for a never ending altruistic donation. It appears complicated at first, but if you view this short animated diagram, it explains in simple detail exactly how this donation chain happens. If it’s possible to donate to one recipient and allow an opportunity from that transplant to set off many others, I would be crazy not to be a part of something that could help so many others. As I mentioned in my earlier post, Cara was an altruistic donor that set off one of these chains. At this point in my journey I have no way of knowing if this will be a possibility for me as well, but I am hoping and praying that this opportunity becomes available.

Having made the decision to be a non-directed donor, my next step was to complete a Medical Certification Form from the National Kidney Registry. This form features the many blood tests, and a 24-hour urine test, that I must have completed by my primary physician here in town. I made the appointment to visit my doctor immediately after downloading the form. I remember telling my doctor “Please don't think I'm crazy but I have something to tell you.” I shared with him my desire to be a part of this process and was curious to get some feedback and opinions from him as to what his thoughts were. He expressed his support, and I was back in his office on May 11 to complete the blood work.

Along with the blood work required for this initial basic set of tests, is a 24-hour urine capture. What? I know, that’s what I said. Bottom line is that for a 24-hour period, I have to save all my urine and keep it refrigerated, right next to my eggs and milk. I needed to pick up the container at another office and was a bit surprised when they handed me what seemed to be no more than a quart-sized container. I looked at the nurse and laughed and said, “oh, that won’t do, I will need at least 2 of those.” The last thing I wanted was to be without a container after filling one jug and having to reach for a half-empty pickle jar to complete the test. Well, I can say that upon completion of this fun test, I barely filled 1/4 of one of the jugs. What the hell was I thinking, being all Superwoman-like, as if my urine was all powerful and so strong! I’m sure a Yoo-Hoo jar would have been sufficient.

I received a phone call from my physician on May 17 with some positive results from all my tests and felt relieved that he didn’t find any red flags that might eliminate me at this stage. At this point in my process, I was put in contact with an administrative coordinator, Diane, at the National Kidney Registry. Diane was my liaison with the NKR to ensure that my paperwork was being received and evaluated. She was extremely helpful in answering more questions I had about the process and also filled me in some more on the actual surgery, should I be considered as a donor. On May 25, the NKR still had yet to receive my blood work results and I was growing impatient. I called my doctor and asked the secretary to fax ME the results and I would then forward them to the appropriate department at NKR. On May 26, I received an email from Diane confirming the paperwork was received. Now I had to wait for their medical board to review the results. Tick, tock, tick, tock....

On June 3, I received an email from Diane stating that the medical board had reviewed my results and everything looked good! I almost peed my pants!! I was so relieved, excited, anxious and happy. From the beginning of my contact with Diane I had discussed my wish to have my surgery with the team at Weill-Cornell. Diane then put me in contact with a Transplant Assistant with Weill-Cornell who would be handling my case with the team there. After exchanging some emails and a phone call with Julie, I requested a date to go to New York to begin my tests and be evaluated as a potential kidney donor. On July 13, at 9am I will begin what will be approximately 8 hours of medical tests and a psychiatric exam. I can’t remember a time when I have been this excited to visit a doctor!

Until next time... it's summer, don't deprive yourself of one of life's simplest of pleasures - ice cream!

baby steps

2010-06-22T21:31:00.007-04:00

As I mentioned in my earlier post, Harvey Mysel from the Living Kidney Donors Network, was instrumental in providing me with the information I needed that led me to the decision to be a living kidney donor. Harvey established the LKDN after recognizing the need for better resources while pursuing a successful living kidney transplant in 2006. If it wasn’t for his patience and his generous time with me, I know that I might never have taken the steps forward to get me to this point where I am now.

One of the most important factors in my decision, was the ability to be able to talk with a non-directed donor so that I might get all the information I needed, straight from the horse’s mouth - so to speak. The internet will only provide data that is in the best interest of the organization in which you seek to retrieve information. I wanted to build a relationship of sorts with another woman that I knew would be honest with me about her journey, not just a voice behind the process to convince me to hand over my organ. Harvey was kind enough to make a connection for me, and that angel is Cara Yesawich.

Cara lives in Chicago and I was so anxious to talk to her, as we had been emailing for about a week. Excited to finally hear her voice, I was a bit hesitant to get involved in the conversation for fear she would tell me something that might spook me. I didn’t want to hear anything that might create a wave of fear and cause me to terminate my progress towards being a candidate. I can honestly say that my reaction to her story was just the opposite. She was so candid, kind, informative and knowledgeable. I was elated to find her to be as enthusiastic about her journey, just as much as I was about the prospect of being able to donate my kidney. Cara’s story was so inspiring and beneficial to me, and I know it’s because she shared with me the good, the bad and the ugly. I was lucky enough to start my correspondence with her prior to her transplant surgery, which enabled me to get a feel for her emotional state both prior to, and after. Cara was an altruistic donor - a domino that set off a kidney pairing that enabled 8 people to receive a kidney. Calling her an angel is an understatement. I encourage readers to visit her blog to explore her story. She has been such an inspiration to me and I value this new friendship.

Harvey also made a connection for me to another non-directed living kidney donor, Hope Preston. Hope lives in New Jersey, and she too had recently recovered from her surgery. Hope was so informative, providing me with a written journal that gave me detailed day-by-day progress up until and after her surgery. Hope’s transplant surgery was at Weill Cornell Medical College, in New York. She was very pleased with the care and treatment she received there and had suggested that perhaps I look into the possibility of moving forward with that hospital as opposed to a local one here in Albany. So, I began researching more into that option. Hope gave me contact information of her administrative coordinator at the National Kidney Registry and suggested that should I decide to choose Weill Cornell, that I might give her a call. Hope’s speedy recovery, and her positive experience with her transplant team convinced me to work directly with Weill Cornell. Hope too, has been such a positive influence in my decision-making process, and I owe her many thanks for her time, kindness and patience with my inquiries.

On Monday, April 26, 2010, I made the decision to register online at the National Kidney Registry to be considered as a donor. My homework was thorough, and establishing a relationship with Cara and Hope, only solidified my decision. My first step in the process in becoming a living kidney donor was complete and I have to say that it was probably the best decision I have made in a long time. My internal spirit was lifted and I knew that my journey had only just begun.

Until next time... start each day with a big stretch and a glass of water - you will feel refreshed and better prepared!

just getting started

2010-06-17T22:24:00.005-04:00

The past 8 months of my life have been some of the darkest. I wish I could support that by sharing some tragic story that disrupted my life in a way that would warrant such emotional emptiness, but I don’t have a story. After some very deep soul searching, I came to terms with this darkness and realized that I was experiencing nothing more than a loss of meaning and fulfillment in my life. Realizing this was the first step, finding a way to get me out of my funk was the second.

I have a wonderful and supportive family I adore and that loves me very much. I’m surrounded by some of the most caring and dynamic friends a person could ask for. I have a beautiful apartment, a feline companion, a job and a very financially responsible lifestyle. What more could a girl ask for, right? I often found myself at the end of the day wondering what significance my existence had in regards to another’s life and well-being. I wanted to be able to experience what ‘giving and sharing’ was really all about. How could I make that happen without depleting my life savings to aid one of many charitable organizations, or contribute several additional hours weekly of volunteer work in addition to my already filled schedule? These were questions that nipped at me for months.

Anyone that knows me well, knows that the most important thing in my life, that continues to be the one thing that provides me balance and well-being, is my health. A day doesn’t go by that I don’t feel blessed that I have the ability to move my body daily, pain-free. Oddly enough, the more I began to feel blue about my life, the more I felt even better about my health and fitness. Suddenly the answer to my question became obvious - I want the ability to share my good health with someone that desperately needs it, but how can I do that? Ironically it was during this time that a conversation with a co-worker piqued my interest as he was sharing a story with me about the frustrations of a relative enduring multiple kidney transplants that eventually were rejected. Curious and craving more information, I hit the internet that evening and Googled ‘kidney donation’. Two hours of research online and I just knew that I had finally found the answer to my question. I can give my good health to someone who truly needs it by donating my kidney!

On April 9, 2010, I began my journey. After posting queries on Facebook, of all places, I found a contact that could answer my questions on how I could begin this process. Harvey Mysel, Founder & President of the Living Kidney Donors Network, responded to my post and it was then that I truly felt that my life was going to change. Harvey provided me with a wealth of information, contacts and resources to get me going. I have him to thank for bringing this opportunity to my life.

My intent of this blog is to share my experiences of this journey, to help educate others that might want to be a part of a living kidney donation, and to also spread the word of just how important this is to the lives of approximately 80,000+ people waiting for a kidney transplant. I have much to share and hope that you will come follow me.

Until next time... challenge your body daily!